


After the End

by araleebo



Category: That '70s Show
Genre: Canon Rewrite, Canon Universe, F/M, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Season/Series 08 Finale, Post-Season/Series Finale
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:41:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 34,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23747752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/araleebo/pseuds/araleebo
Summary: Who's to say what happens after the end? Jackie finally thought she could get her happily ever after with the guy of her dreams in the new decade. For a while, she was right. Then, the worst few days of her life happened.
Relationships: Fez & Michael Kelso, Jackie Burkhart & Donna Pinciotti, Jackie Burkhart & Michael Kelso, Jackie Burkhart & Steven Hyde, Jackie Burkhart/Fez, Jackie Burkhart/Steven Hyde, Kitty Forman & Red Forman & Steven Hyde
Comments: 8
Kudos: 71





	1. The Past is Prelude

**Author's Note:**

> This story mainly takes place in the fall of 1980, but the first two chapters are about Jackie and Hyde’s two major breakups.

Jackie stormed into her joint bedroom with Donna, slamming the door behind her. Tears kept falling from her eyes no matter how much she wiped them away. The sun was still up and she usually stayed out late, but that day was an exception. She looked around, sniffling softly as she did and attempted to take deep breaths to calm down. 

Her eyes landed on Donna's bedspread and a wave of sadness hit her. Memories flooded her mind, once happy but now painful. She grabbed it, tearing it off of the mattress in a flurry of tears before ripping the door open and running downstairs to the washing machine. She opened the hatch and put it inside, running back upstairs and bringing every single blanket in the room to the small washer. 

Unfortunately, Jackie didn't exactly know how to operate a washing machine without Donna's help. She left the lid open and the power off before returning to Donna's room, wiping her eyes again and feeling a bit more tethered. She looked down at herself, realizing she hadn't yet changed and moved to her shared closet to pull out her neatly hung pajamas. 

When she did, her eyes lingered on a few outfits she'd hung for reminiscence. Looking at them usually brought a smile to her face when she was sad. It was not one of those times.

The first was the one she'd worn on her first official date with Steven the year before. She recalled the first time they'd kissed, both claiming to feel nothing. Jackie, of course, lied about how she felt. 

Kissing him after being refused so often had made the situation so much more real. For the first time, she felt afraid of his imminent rejection. She did the only thing she could think of: lie. 

Just as she'd calmed down, everything came back to her. Steven walking in on her comforting Michael as a friend. His retaliation by hooking up with some random nurse, only to find out the two had been telling the truth. At least he'd been honest with her, which was more than what Michael had ever done, but for some reason, it hurt so much more than last time. 

Everything reminded her of him. She took a few of her neatly hung outfits out of her closet and tossed them onto her cot, each of them attached to a different memory. Their second kiss, their sixth date, the first time she'd stayed over. Everything was too much to bear. She swore his scent was lingering on them, even though they'd been washed. 

She looked around the room and walked to her trunk, opening the lid and leaning on it as she rummaged through her various stuffed animals, ABBA records, and other assorted items, tossing them over her shoulder as she dug around.

"Do you think Laurie's right? Should we elope?" Donna's voice came from outside the door as the knob turned.

"Well, Laurie's never right and she most definitely does not care about- Woah... what happened in here?" Eric asked, stopping as he looked at the room-turned-disaster-zone. 

"Jackie? What happened to your things? You never let your babies touch my floor. You said my giant feet aren't allowed anywhere near them," Donna noted, clearly worried. Eric snickered, followed by a light slap on the arm. 

Jackie ignored them, continuing to go through the trunk. Eric barely caught a pink unicorn headed straight for him—at a frankly terrifying speed—just before the horn could skewer him.

"What the hell? This thing might've taken my eye out," he complained, making Donna smile and look at him. Still no reply. 

"Jackie?" Donna asked, getting closer to her, "Jackie?!"

Nothing.

"Jackie!"

Just as Donna could put a hand on her shoulder, Jackie stood up after finding what she'd been looking for; a mid-sized and rectangular purple box kept at the bottom of her large trunk for safe-keeping. She turned around and jumped, surprised to find Donna and Eric looking at her in confusion. 

"Jackie, are you crying?" Eric asked. Donna turned to look at him and nodded, raising her eyebrow. 

"Did Hyde tell you what happened?" she asked rather timidly, glancing at the ground littered with objects and clothing. 

Jackie ignored the question and walked over to the bare bed. She looked at the box, both anger and sadness in her eyes. She sat down and crossed her legs next to it, simply staring at it.

"Wait, what happened?" Eric asked. 

"Hyde-"

"Did nothing. Steven didn't do anything. Let's not talk about it," Jackie finished, her voice not as strong as she wanted while it quivered. 

For some reason, speaking broke her. She burst into a sob, lowering her head and shaking it as she leaned on her hand for support. Eric, though he didn't wasn't exactly fond of the brunette, swiftly walked over to Donna. She sat next to Jackie and placed an arm around her. Even if he didn't like her, Jackie was Donna's best friend outside of their relationship.

Donna looked up at him and mouthed the words, 'he cheated.' He pursed his lips and nodded, tucking his hands into his front pockets. 

"I'm going to... leave now. Let you two talk it out," he announced.

"I don't need to talk. I don't need anyone. I'm Jackie Burkhart," Jackie sniffed, snapping her head up at him. Her eyes were red and her voice was a bit nasal from her crying. 

"Right... Then do you want to be alone?" Donna asked, moving to stand up. Jackie grabbed Donna's hand and looked at her with more fear than they'd both seen on her face.

"No, wait. Donna..." she paused before mumbling, "I need you."

Donna smiled and nodded, then looked at Eric who did the same before leaving. Before he closed the door, he heard her cry loudly. 

"How could he, Donna? How could he do this to me? He knows just how much Michael hurt me, so how could he do the same?" Jackie asked, defeated, as she sobbed, clinging to Donna as she did, ignoring the quality of her clothing in her despair.

Donna, of course, was surprised. Even when Kelso cheated on her or her father was arrested, Jackie had never been so emotional. Donna looked at her sadly.

"I don't know, Jackie... Maybe it's _because_ he knew how much it hurt you when Kelso cheated on you and he wanted you to feel as bad as he did."

Jackie looked up in her tears, anger in her eyes. 

"We didn't do anything! Michael is my oldest friend! He's the reason I even know Steven and you and the others in the first place! I even told him to leave but he looked so shaken up!"

Donna frowned slightly and gently gave Jackie a pat on the leg as she was being clung to.

"I'm sorry, Jackie... but I think Hyde still cares about you. He's not Kelso. He told you the truth right away, didn't he? I'm sure he feels awful. Maybe you can work it out."

"That doesn't change anything, Donna... Can we please just not talk about it?"

"If that's what you want," Donna agreed, then recalled her initial question, "Jackie, where are all of the blankets? And why are your clothes on the ground?"

"I couldn't look at them... Everything's in the washer..."

Donna tensed, knowing just how bad Jackie was at doing laundry. 

"Um... Jackie, you didn't turn on the washer, did you?"

"On? Doesn't it just know?"

She let out a soft sigh of relief knowing her sheets were safe and looked around. Jackie did the same now that she was much calmer. 

"Do you want to pick up or keep hugging?"

"Pick up..." Jackie said, her desire for everything to be orderly overtaking her. 

"Alright, good. I'm going to go save my comforter," Donna announced, prying Jackie off of her and running downstairs. Jackie smiled softly in return, standing up and beginning to clean up the mess she'd made. 

She’d re-organized everything in no time. The room was back to normal by the time Donna had brought everything back upstairs. She took the box off of her bed before remaking it, wondering what it could be as she'd never seen it before. Jackie wasn't exactly a private person, either, making the box even more mysterious.

She curiously placed it on her desk and lifted the lid. In the box was a swatch of neatly folded wrapping paper wrapped in cobalt blue ribbon sitting on top of an old Led Zeplin tee. She lifted it in confusion and turned her head to look at Jackie, who was placing things back in her trunk. 

"Jackie, why do you have a Zeplin t-shirt? You don't like them."

Jackie flinched and turned around, rushing over to the desk, shoving the shirt back inside, and slamming the lid back on it, all while making sure she didn't have to look at it too long.

"It's not mine. I've never worn it."

"But it's obviously worn... Is it for Hyde? His birthday isn't until next month. Would he be excited about owning a used tee?"

Jackie pursed her lips and lifted the box. She walked over to her trunk, placing it inside.

"It was actually my birthday present... from Steven. I don't know why I got it out."

Donna looked at her in surprise, trying to recall to her best memory what the shirt looked like. She knew it was familiar, but she figured she'd seen it in a magazine or a record shop. 

"Wait, wait, wait... Did Hyde give you something for your birthday? And he gave you something Led Zeplin related? His Zeplin collection ‘has been and always will bestrictly off-limits.’"

Jackie nodded and looked down at it, her feelings of anger and sadness taking claim of her heart again. She slammed the lid shut and walked over to her cot, sighing softly. 

"I wanted to burn it or throw it away when I was looking for it... but when I found it, I-" her voice broke and she pursed her lips, "-I couldn't even look at it. How can it be the person who gave me the most thoughtful present I've received in my entire life did this to me? Why couldn't he trust me?"

"Jackie, Hyde is complicated. I've known him since we were kids. He's not partial to trust. I'm surprised he's been able to keep a relationship at all, especially one with you. He trusts you, Jackie. He also knows that you and Kelso have history."

"I know that, and I don't blame him for jumping to that conclusion... but how could he not trust that I love _him_? How could he believe that I would ever do anything to hurt him like that? Now that I've let everything out... I just need some time to think."

Jackie pursed her lips and let out a soft exhale before running her hand through her hair, shaking it gently as she did. Donna looked at her and nodded sadly, knowing Jackie didn't want to talk anymore. The occurrence of the rare event made it obvious how shaken she was. 

"I'm going to go see Eric, alright? I'll be back before dinner."

"Stay out as long as you'd like. Just please, tell your dad I already ate."

Donna sighed softly and stood up, walking over to the door before turning back to Jackie. 

"I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding."

"That might be true. It might not be, either. We'll talk in the morning. I'll have calmed down by then."

She nodded again and smiled before leaving. 

"You're strong, Jackie. You broke down for less than an hour and managed to pick yourself up to the point where you think rationally. Who does that?"

A soft smile came to Jackie's face as she looked at Donna. 

"A Burkhart."

* * *

The next morning, Steven called. Donna, of course, encouraged Jackie to pick up. She wanted to see her two asshole friends become less assholish and happier. Jackie responded by hanging up the red handset. The two talked for a while, Donna once again trying and failing to convince her to attempt to work out the situation. 

Jackie was still sad, but she turned her sadness into surprisingly calm anger. She didn't yell, though she did cry a little. In all, she was still clearly pissed off. It was hard for Donna to tell exactly what she was feeling which was especially strange for Jackie, who wore her emotions on her sleeves. 

She'd gone through everything once with Michael and wasn't eager to do it again. She wasn't even sure what made her more upset: Steven cheating on her with another woman or just being cheated on by another boyfriend. Thankfully, she'd managed to work out most of her feelings on the issue by the time Steven arrived in the bedroom. 

Jackie sat on her cot, angrily flipping through a magazine when he entered. She stopped reading it and began looking at the pictures as she'd heard his heavy footsteps in the hallway. She just needed something to stare at so she wouldn't lose her cool. That was all she had left. 

"Hey."

She glanced to the side before returning her focus to the magazine. He walked into the room, sitting on Donna's bed in front of her. She couldn't even look at him. Every single signal she was giving off screaming hurt or anger.

He took off his sunglasses, something he still rarely did when they were alone together. She once told him she liked looking at his eyes, saying it made everything feel more honest and real. Jackie still wouldn't look up. 

"The thing is, I'm really sorry."

She knew apologizing didn't come easy to him, but for some reason, his words only fueled her rage. Honestly, she didn't know if he was going to stop by to talk to her. If he did, she promised herself to hear him out—offer him what he denied her. 

"Yeah, you said that already," she replied, her voice quiet. She didn't sound angry or cold. She was disappointed. 

"Come on, Jackie. I made a mistake, okay? It was a stupid one-time thing."

She looked up, her expression defeated and saddened. It wasn't like her to be seen or act in such a way, especially in front of Hyde. 

"You know what, Steven? I've heard it all before. From you, from Michael. God, just do me a favor and leave me alone."

He expected her to cry, yell, or maybe even punch him. Other girlfriends had done worse to him for less. Yet, she was quiet and static. It was clear he wasn't wanted. 

"Whatever."

He got to his feet as she returned to her magazine, waiting for him to leave her alone as she'd asked. When he tried to leave, his body wouldn't let him. He stared forward, barely able to look at her in the state she was in. She simply wasn't herself. It was a reminder that he'd been the one to make her like that. He wanted to be better than Kelso, but it seemed like he was just as bad. Maybe even worse.

"Jackie..." he began, unsure of what he was going to say. He then looked down at her and only one thing came to mind, "I love you."

Her gaze immediately raised. She was shocked for a moment, but her face fell as her emotions got the best of her. Why did it have to be then that he said those words? The words she'd been wanting to hear all year, maybe even earlier. But she couldn’t enjoy it. Those words were now corrupted and rotten because of what he did.

He had no idea what he'd put her through or how much he'd managed to shake her in the last day, but it didn't stop him from saying it. How could she even trust him after she believed in him and he betrayed her? Or when he had so little faith in her? Michael had said the same thing when he'd been caught, too. They were more alike than she'd thought. 

She shook her head in disbelief and her face tensed, her true anger showing for just a moment. 

"Yeah, well I don't love you," she said quietly, standing up and closing the magazine before she left. 

As she did, she realized a few things. She was sad, but she didn't want to cry again. She was angry, but not furious. She was dispirited, by both Steven and herself. It wasn't like her to be so lost because of someone's actions and that bothered her. And though she'd told him a lie in her discontent, a small part of her hoped that he wouldn't be like Michael... because she didn't love Steven as she did him. She loved Steven more.

* * *

Over a year and they were back together, happier than ever after a few hiccups and some time apart. She didn't know why, but something about him just made her feel like she was complete. Though he would never admit it, he felt something similar. He didn't mind her nagging, especially since he'd learned to tune her out during her more pointless rambles. 

Most of the time, she knew he wasn't listening but continued to talk anyway. If she asked him if he wasn't paying attention, he was always honest. It was refreshing compared to Michael's half-baked lies mixed in with compliments to distract her. 

Despite being so happy with him, Jackie began to worry about their future. Steven wasn't exactly the type to be open about how he felt and was firmly against marriage, the one thing she'd dreamed about since she was a child and stuck to. 

She saw a clear-cut future with him, now more suitable for both of them as she'd learned to take him into more consideration. They had a house, not extravagantly large but definitely not small. It was tastefully and lavishly decorated but not to the point where Steven would be uncomfortable. There was enough space for an office, a guest room, themselves, and their two or three children—Stephanie, Jack, and either Katherine or Reginald, nicknamed Kitty and Red.

Steven would come to manage a branch of the Wisconson Grooves chain and Jackie was her own boss in whatever profession she decided to pursue. They were happily married, and even though they fought, they loved each other. He was still "zen," of course, and he would occasionally make a meaningless pass at a woman for a laugh or two but refuse her if she took him seriously, just as he did currently. She would still get jealous, but much less than before.

He turned her out and she talked about meaningless workplace disputes or basic drama but still liked hearing about her day. Donna and Eric would come over with Fez and Michael and they would hang out just like old times in the circle while their children were under Betsy's care. She would be at least a teenager by then. Everything was perfect and peaceful. That's the future she saw. 

It didn't have to be right then and there, but she was worried that Steven might push her away. She didn't tell him about the way her perception of their life together changed, worried that if she did it would become more real to him and he would panic. 

With everything he'd been through, it was safe to say he had commitment and abandonment issues. Jackie tried her hardest to work through them. She would push him to use words because indifference wasn't enough. For a while, it worked, but she found she was still afraid of him leaving her when things got even more serious or that he would never want to marry her.

So, she made a tough call. If he didn't give her a sign that they could have a future together, either by acknowledging that one day they could get married or even her that he loved her, she would stay with him. Though she didn't like talking about it, the only time Steven told her he loved her was after he cheated on her with that nurse. She didn't know if he was serious or not and began to suspect the latter when he didn't repeat himself.

Steven, of course, had no idea that she was so unsettled. No matter how much Jackie liked talking, she mostly respected his wishes about not talking about marriage, leading her to bottle up her feelings. It wasn't until Donna and Eric told him that Jackie had been at a wedding posing as Donna that he began to acknowledge her unshakable resolve to get married. They even broke up again because of it.

Once their time apart ended, Jackie's desire to marry Steven didn't change. She'd found her calling on her public access show, driving her dream to become a reporter or TV Personality. Apparently, she wasn't the only one who thought so. She was offered a job at a Chicago TV station by the owner, who enjoyed her content. She wanted to go, but if Steven told her to stay behind because they had a future, she happily would. 

She did the only thing she could think of to show how serious she was—offer an ultimatum. She told him that she needed a reason to stay; marriage. If he didn't agree, then she would leave. It hurt her doing such a thing, but she thought it was reasonable at the time. Steven, of course, disagreed. 

At first, he was angry and almost a little betrayed. He specifically told her that he didn't want to talk about getting married and thought that she could learn to enjoy the moment, but she hadn't learned anything. In fact, he thought she was regressing to the Jackie that he was disgusted by rather than the one who felt empowered fixing cars, could throw a wicked left hook, or was strong enough to handle her emotions without losing control. 

Then, after a long night of drinking and waking up on the living room couch, Eric snoring in his father's chair and Kelso and Fez passed out on the floor, he realized something. The first person he'd wanted to see wasn't any of them or some random woman. It was Jackie. 

If she moved to Chicago, their relationship would end and she might not return. If marriage was the only way to get her to stay, maybe it wasn't so bad. Even if she stayed with him otherwise, they would eventually have the same conversation again and she will have abandoned her dream for nothing.

After everyone had woken up and Kelso and Fez had left, he and Eric sat on the couch, watching TV. He was thinking of what to say to Jackie, wondering what she would think about waiting a few years to get married instead of right away. He figured as long as she got the point about him being okay to an eventual marriage, things would work themselves out. Eric asked if he'd decided, half expecting the usual answer, "I don't know," only to find he was wrong. 

"I already have."

Nearly as soon as the words left his mouth, Kitty entered with a saddened expression and handed him a note with little explanation. Only that Jackie had dropped it off earlier that morning. Steven already knew the letter was for him as soon as he'd seen his name written in Jackie's neat cursive on the front. She'd taken his going out to drink as his way of grieving their relationship and left, unwilling to face the rejection head-on. 

Following that, everything went downhill. She left later that day after a short and hurtful conversation with Steven, accompanied by Michael. During the car ride, she silently cried out the window and wiped her eyes often, gaining his attention. He was going to take her to the bus stop, but she asked for a lift to her crappy motel, not that he minded the time with her.

After returning to the motel after eating at Jackie's insistence, the temporary feeling of relaxation faded. She sat down on the bed and began to cry again as Michael brought in the last of her bags. He sat them down and walked over, sitting next to her and wrapping his arm around her carefully. 

"Hey, what's wrong? You stopped crying for a little while, so why now?"

"I can't believe I'm actually moving. I thought that maybe by the time we came back he'd... he'd be here," she sniffed before sobbing softly. 

"Jackie, Hyde is a complicated dude. Maybe you just expect too much out of him like you did with me."

She looked up at him with teary eyes. 

"But he's going to come. I know it. He has to."

He frowned slightly. 

"I don't think he is, Jacks. If he was, I wouldn't be taking the risk of here 'cause he would kick my ass."

Jackie sniffed and laughed quietly, a sad smile on her face as she did. 

"He would..."

Even though he was with her, she looked lonely and vulnerable. It was different than the strong and unyielding Jackie he knew so well. Michael leaned down to kiss her, falling into his old habit of taking advantage of broken-hearted women. Before he could, he was immediately pushed off and she stood up, taking several steps away from him. 

"Michael! Why would you do that?!" she yelled, anger burning in her brown eyes.

"I don't know! You looked upset and in need of comforting!"

"Don't comfort me like that! Comfort me like Donna!" she exclaimed, then held up her finger before Michael could say something about the two girls, "I meant like a friend!"

She sighed softly and rubbed her temples, "I think you need to leave for today. Go home and get ready for Eric's farewell tomorrow."

He frowned and stood up, walking toward the door. 

"Jackie, I'm really sorry for tryin' to kiss you. Do you want me to tell Hyde about you wanting to see him?"

"What? No... Just save me the humiliation, Michael. Please?"

"Anything for you. Just know I'm always here for you, alright?" 

"I know. Thank you, Michael."

The smile returned to his face and he nodded before leaving, shutting the door quietly behind him. She sighed softly, walking back over to her bed and lying on her back and staring at the low ceiling before closing her eyes. 

She saw Steven, laughing softly at her on his small cot in his redecorated bedroom. When she put everything back, she tried to make it less pink so he would enjoy it even more, but she kept drifting back to her favorite color. It was her go-to.

A few candles were lit, making the room smell of lavender and vanilla. Jackie knew he thought of them as the other, more conventional way to unwind but m never mentioned it to him. She sat on the comforter next to him, turned so their eyes would meet. She had also been smiling, as she plucked the sunglasses off of his face and put them on hers, crossing her arms and leaning back slightly in the way he usually did.

"These are nice. How do I look?" she'd asked, trying not to laugh. He smiled at her almost sweetly, which he'd been doing more of. 

"You look good, Doll."

"Thanks, Puddin' Pop," she replied, sitting up straight and uncrossing her arms before taking the glasses off of her face and stretching back to set them on the small table. 

"C' mere," he ordered with a slight grunt and smirk, leaning forward after her, wrapping his arms around her back, and pulling her toward him. She hadn't quite put the shades down yet and they dropped with a small clatter onto the table as she was suddenly drawn toward him in her flurry of laughter. 

Jackie sat straddling Steven's lap on her knees with a smile as she looked down at him while gently caressing his face. She ran her fingers over his sideburns and ears as her brown curls cascaded down between them. He had a near idiotic grin on his face, showing her that he was just as content as she was without realizing it. She smiled happily, leaning down and giving him a long, gentle kiss before pulling away and giggling slightly.

"What's so funny?"

"I'm just... insanely happy. I don't think I've been this happy in a long time."

"I haven't seen you laugh this much since you first got high. You're not high, are you? I might need to catch up."

"Nope. It's just you."

He smiled again and tossed her to the side and onto her back as she let out a slight squeal, climbing on top of her and returning her kiss. 

"Me, too... I guess," he admitted, coming up after a long minute. 

Jackie smiled, covering her mouth with her hands out of sheer joy. She didn't want to say anything and ruin it, so instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and brought him back down to her. 

Their joint laughter echoed through her mind as she opened her eyes, finding herself crying again. She stood up and sniffed, wiping her eyes once more and walking over to one of her bags on the desk, popping it open to gather her supplies for her night routine and a change of clothes. The day was over and Steven was gone. He wasn't going after her and she had to accept it; she knew that. She just needed time. 

When Jackie emerged from the shower, she was dressed in a rather sheer pink nightie, cutting off a few inches beneath her shoulder and her mid-thigh. It was one she'd bought for herself when they first starting dating, hoping she'd get to wear it for him once they were engaged. She'd thoughtlessly packed it and felt like putting it on. It reminded her of him.

She continued to go through her other bags, surprised to find a white box in one of them. She looked at it peculiarly, lifting it out of the suitcase and walking over to the bed before taking off the lid. On top of a single layer of folded tissue paper was a note with Donna's handwriting on it.

"Jackie, you forgot something. I found it in your pretty much empty room and thought you might want it again one day. Sorry, it's the only goodbye gift I could think of. Don't forget to call and visit."

She looked at the box and put the note back down before closing the lid to the box. She already knew what was inside—the Led Zeplin shirt. It was the only thing she'd left behind that Donna would bother returning. Just knowing it was in the room made her feel like a piece of him was with her. She felt both comfort and sorrow upon recognizing that.

She walked back over to the suitcase and placed the box gently inside before closing it and setting it on the ground. She couldn't bring herself to unpack just yet, still hoping that Steven would come and find her. Instead, she walked over to the bed and got in, turning off the light before drifting to sleep.


	2. Past is Prelude (part two)

The next day was hell. She'd spent the morning in tears, her mind flooded with memories that she'd have to put behind her to start over in Chicago. Even though the sun was up and the lamps in the room were on, it was like every single ray of light had been sucked from the room.

The afternoon was easier. She called Donna for the fourth time, second that day, much calmer than before and without much criticism toward the outfit she just knew was awful. She had no more tears left and decided to take another shower in an attempt to fix the mess that had become her face. 

Her eyes were red and bags formed under them as she sniffed. Her nose was red from being blown every few minutes. Luckily, it was in the Burkhart gene pool to bounce back quickly. By the time she'd finished up with her last cleanser, she looked passable.

She built up the courage to call Eric, praying that Steven wouldn't be the one to pick up. 

"Hello?" the unmistakable voice of Kitty Forman asked. 

"Hi, Mrs. Forman. It's Jackie."

"Jackie? It's good to hear from you? How's Chicago? Are you calling for Steven? I'll go and-"

"No! Not Steven! Definitely not Steven!" Jackie exclaimed suddenly, loud enough for Kitty to hear as she pulled away from the phone. There was silence for a while before Kitty sighed softly into the phone. 

"What happened to you two? When you came by yesterday to drop off that note, Steven was in the other room. You could've given it to him yourself, you know."

"I couldn't... I just...” she paused and sighed quietly, “I actually called to talk to Eric. Say my goodbyes and such, since I'm not there with everyone."

"That's very nice of you, Jackie. Though it would be better if you could just come down here," Kitty reasoned, laughing nervously.

It was from there that all of the memories, thoughts, and feelings in her mind flooded to her mouth, unable to stop. She went on for nearly twenty minutes about her relationship with Steven, refusing Kelso, wondering what she should do now that she and Steven were over... and Kitty just sat there, absorbing all of the information. 

She was actually quite invested in the drama involving Jackie and Steven, as they were somehow the most similar, yet dissimilar, pair in the group. It helped that Jackie made Steven absurdly happy, and his happiness was all Kitty wanted since the day she first felt the motherly urge to care for him. They both had problems they needed to talk through. 

"Well, Jackie... that was a lot," Kitty stated, laughing awkwardly through the phone. Jackie blushed slightly, realizing she'd said too much. 

"I'm, um... I just needed someone to talk to that wasn't Michael. He never listens. I didn't mean to take up so much time, Mrs. Forman."

"I know, dear. I'll go downstairs and tell Eric you're on the line and want to talk to him... and maybe Steven?"

Jackie was quiet for a moment, which was an oddity within the conversation.

"No, thank you... I don't think I can handle talking to him. And if you wouldn't mind not telling him about this little chat?"

"Little...?" Kitty mumbled under her breath, making Jackie laugh quietly. 

"It was nice talking to you, Mrs. Forman."

With that Kitty placed the phone on the counter and hurried downstairs, pulling open the door and walking down a few steps.

In the basement, Kelso had just returned from dropping Jackie off at her hotel, though he'd had a few hour pit-stop at an arcade to play skeeball. He told everyone she was depressed and crying—not because of the end of her relationship with Steven, but because she didn't have any friends in Chicago. It was quite an obvious lie, but the group knew better than to say anything. 

Jackie was always popular despite her bitchy façade, though it did hold some parts of her true personality. She'd never had any problems making friends at school or otherwise, especially in her more gentle moments. Besides, new friends weren't something she needed. She was perfectly happy being alone in Chicago as long as she had Donna to talk to. Everyone knew this. The problem wasn't her lack of friendships, but Hyde. 

He glanced up from his seat, clenching his teeth as he flipped through a magazine. It had to be _Kelso_ who took her to Chicago. He was just thankful that Kelso wasn't exactly the type to be emotional support. He knew Jackie, and she wouldn't get back with him just because she was feeling vulnerable or alone. 

Apparently, she'd called Donna four times, no doubt so Jackie could talk or whine about him and Kelso after thoroughly insulting Donna's poor fashion sense. He forced his eyes to return to the magazine, blocking out all thought of her. She was the one who left after forcing him into an ultimatum and decision he wasn't ready for yet, not to mention trying to leave before his time was up. He was still pissed about that. 

"How does she know?!" Donna exclaimed in exasperation about Jackie's somewhat omniscient knowledge of all things fashion. The door leading to the kitchen opened and Kitty hurried down the stairs, leaning to deliver a message. 

"Eric? Jackie's on the phone. She wants to talk to you."

Hyde looked up at Kitty, squinting his eyes slightly in disbelief beneath his shades.

"Jackie wants to talk to Forman?"

"Yes..." Kitty confirmed before moving on. "Now, pick up because she's been blabbering for twenty minutes."

Hyde gave her a peculiar, almost guilty look and she took in another breath. "And I never noticed it when she was living here, but she's not that interesting."

He relaxed slightly in his seat and looked back over to Kelso, who was snickering softly. Kitty hurried back upstairs to listen in on the other line. She was genuinely curious about what Jackie had to say to her son. She knew they didn't get along that well.

Hyde's attention turned to Forman, who cautiously picked up the phone and glanced around the room in confusion. 

"Hello?" he asked. 

Her voice, though quiet on the other line, sounded cheery and bright, not depressed and sad as Kelso had suggested. 

"Uh-huh..." he replied, still very confused as to what was going on. Hyde watched him, listening carefully to her voice to try and make out what she was saying. Though it was a bit garbled, her tone changed to a more morbid one. He managed to catch the last sentence she'd spoken. 

"You've always been very special to me."

Forman glanced at Hyde, instinctively leaning away slightly as he reeled from what she'd said. 

"Okay, Jackie if there's a gun to your head, say the word, 'cream cheese,'" he ordered. Jackie, on the other line, was a bit confused at his reaction. 

"No, Eric, I'm just gonna miss you is all, okay?" she said, a little bit more honest with her feelings than usual. "So just take care of yourself in Africa."

"Okay, I will," Forman replied. Jackie took in a breath and asked a question. 

"Is Steven there?"

"Wait, you want to talk to who?" he asked. Her eyes widened. Steven's did slightly as well, but he managed to keep himself from ripping the phone out of Forman's hand, reminding himself he was still pissed off.

"No, no, no, Eric!"

"You want to tell him you love him?"

"Eric Forman, don't you dare!"

"Well, I don't know. You guys didn't really leave on the best of terms."

"Fine! I'm hanging up, alright?! Geez, you baby!"

"Okay."

She slammed the phone down in a panic, curling her legs up into her seat and staring at it for a while. A part of her hoped it would ring, but after a few minutes, there was nothing. She sighed softly and nodded, pursing her lips together and standing up as she did. No call, no visit... no Steven.

* * *

A few hours later, Michael stopped by with two bottles of champagne he'd taken from the Forman household for Eric's going away party. He claimed they wouldn't notice it was missing with Kitty's unrelenting crying over her "sweet baby boy."

Jackie was in the mood to get drunk and make bad choices. She'd just managed to shove her remaining feelings for Steven into a tiny little box and slam it shut. She felt like she'd lost him forever and there was nothing she could do.

A part of her tried to be angry with him, reasoning she put the most effort in to make the relationship work. Truthfully, she didn't mind; she knew that he was trying. She admired the effort he made, but it still crushed her that he couldn't commit further than being her boyfriend. Was he that against the promise of a happy future with her? 

Being married in itself didn't mean anything to her anymore, especially after the mess with Michael. After that, she realized that she wanted to marry the person she loved more than anything so they could stay connected, even if they were apart or angry. That person was Steven. It hurt her so much when he didn't feel the same way or seem to understand why she wanted to marry him so much. 

She looked up at Michael as she was strewn across her bed in her nightie. She'd planned on going to bed early to sleep off whatever sadness she had leftover. He had the same dumb grin on his face as usual when he announced his arrival.

"Jackie, I brought booze! High-class booze!" he exclaimed, holding the green champagne bottles up in the air victoriously.

"That's... great, Michael."

"Yeah, I know! This is the quality stuff, too. Snagged 'em off of Mr. and Mrs. Forman before Eric's going away party. Forman's mom will be too much of a mess to notice they're missing, and Mr. Forman will just tell Forman to be a man and drink a beer if they can't find 'em."

Jackie looked up at him flatly. 

"You stole them from Eric's farewell party?" 

"I wouldn't say I 'stole.' I would say, 'borrowed without permission.'"

She returned to flipping through her magazine. 

"Clever."

Michael sighed softly and moved to sit down on the edge of the bed, setting down one of the bottles on the bed and holding another one in his hand.

"Are you still mad about yesterday? I said I was sorry, Jackie.

She pursed her lips, turning her head back to look at him. 

"If we're going to drink those, we need ice. I like champagne cold."

His face lit up and he got to his feet, hurrying with his bottle to the door as Jackie returned to her magazine. Suddenly there was a loud crash and a groan. She turned to find Michael standing in front of a closed door. He turned around and rubbed his forehead under his bangs. 

There was crushed green glass and liquid on his shirt running down to his pants. Jackie immediately stood up and walked over in concern, grabbing one of the cheaper motel towels she'd moved to the desk after replacing them with her expensive ones. She picked at the glass, thankful he wasn't bleeding. 

"It's pull... not push," he said quietly. Suddenly, Jackie laughed for the first time in days, covering her mouth with the back of her hand as she did. Michael laughed along, not entirely sure why he was. 

"I can't believe I forgot how bad at doors you are!" she exclaimed, her laughter growing as she did. "It wasn't even seethrough!"

Michael began to laugh much louder, now understanding what she found funny and agreeing. Jackie tossed the handful of glass in the trash, smiling softly, wiping her hands with the long, white towel before tossing it to Michael.

"You should go clean up before your clothes are ruined."

"In your bathroom? Like, naked?"

She looked at him strangely before returning to her bed, lying down once again and returning to her magazine. 

"Probably. I don't mind, just don't do anything gross."

He shook his head quickly. "I wouldn't do anything gross."

Her eyes flicked up to look at him. 

"Michael."

"I won't, I promise!" he exclaimed, hurrying over to the shower and peeling off his shirt as he ran. Jackie sighed again softly before turning her head. 

After a rather long time, Michael came from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, smelling like her perfect combination of apricot body scrub and vanilla-scented lotion. She held out an empty ice bucket without tearing her eyes from the paper. She'd moved the champagne bottle to over by the tree.

Michael took the bucket, posing and flexing on his way out. Even though he promised not to make any moves on her, a part of him wanted her to come onto him. It helped that since they broke up and she started dating Hyde, he'd been hitting the gym to work off some of his feelings. Jackie didn't seem to notice, but he could tell he had at least some effect. When he got back, he would make his move. He was never good at keeping promises, anyways.

After a few minutes, there was a knock on her door. It wasn't like Michael to knock when he could barge in, but she wasn't expecting anyone else. 

"Come in," she called, turning the page and actually look up at the door. If Michael was knocking, he was probably going to be doing something he thought was funny or impressive... or maybe even romantic.

The door opened and Steven stood in front of her. He seemed nervous and awkward. Jackie nearly immediately got to her feet after a moment of surprise and shock. 

"Steven... What, um... what are you doing here?" she asked, both excited and confused. Why _was_ he there? To end it or to take her back? Either way, he would be pissed when he saw Michael. 

She knew that he was always a little insecure about her connection with Michael, not that he would admit it. After all, he was the first person she fell in love with and had sex with. She was sure that he thought that she would go back to him after they broke up. In some ways, he was right. 

Sleeping with Michael out of malice had crossed her mind, as was sleeping with him for comfort after having her heart crushed. If Steven hadn't shown up, it was very possible that they would've had a one night stand in her misery—an event she would likely regret for the rest of her life. 

She crossed her arms nervously and looked at him, the anxiety apparent in her eyes. It made Hyde nervous. He wasn't the best at sharing his feelings. 

"Um... Nothing. I had some free time, thought I'd check out Chicago."

She nodded, a little disappointed in his answer. Her arms moved to behind her back, her fingers fidgeting as she looked at him. He took another breath, feeling awkward since she'd stopped talking. She barely ever stopped talking. 

"How's it going?"

She paused as she searched for an answer other than 'fine,' 'okay,' or 'terrible.'

"Good..!" she nearly exclaimed as the word popped into her head. She'd almost forgotten the meaning of it. "Hey, do you want to go take a walk, maybe get something to eat?"

Before he could answer, the door opened with Michael holding the champagne in the ice bucket, wearing nothing but a towel. 

"Jackie, I checked. No one can see us doing it from the parking lo-" he let out a loud scream and threw the ice over his shoulder as if somehow that would make the situation better.

Hyde turned to look at him, both disbelief and anger in his expression. Kelso's eyes shifted to Jackie, who wore an identical one. If Hyde didn't kill him, Jackie would in a heartbeat. 

"You're dead."

Michael ran, but Steven grabbed his towel, resulting in a loud, "I'm nude!" coming from the parking lot. He wasn't chased. Steven instead turned to look at Jackie, angry and upset. They were quiet for a minute. She had this expression that made him even more upset: guilty and confused. 

"Steven, I can-"

"Save it," he growled, throwing the towel onto the floor and beginning to walk away. 

Jackie grabbed her coat and chased after him with bare feet, not even bothering to avoid cigarette butts and broken glass as she hurried. He picked up his pace. 

"Steven! Steven, please wait!" 

He didn't answer, but he heard her break into a jog. She never jogged.

"Steven! Nothing happened, I swear! Michael's just stupid!" she called, clearly on the verge of tears. Her voice was closer than before. Finally, he reached his car near the front desk. He didn't know where to park, but he'd wished it'd been closer. 

Before he could walk to the door, Jackie jumped out in front of him, tears in her eyes. 

"Please don't leave. W-We can talk through this, we have to! You came here, didn't you? Tell me why! Please," she begged, her cheeks now wet. 

"Jackie, move."

"No! I won't let you go! Don't leave, just talk to me!"

"I don't want to talk to you, Jackie! You went back to Kelso! Fucking Kelso! He cheated on you and then he left you behind! How can you keep going back to him? It's unhealthy and it's crazy!"

She stared at him for a moment. The hurt in her eyes mixed with a flurry of emotion.

"Well, so did you, Steven! You cheated on me because you didn't trust me with Michael, and maybe you were right about him, but I wasn't asking you to trust him! I was asking you to trust _me_! And then I took you back, but you..." she sniffed and wiped her eyes. "You didn't care that I was leaving at all!"

Jackie didn't like talking about Steven and the nurse, in arguments or otherwise. It hurt her just thinking about it.

"Whatever, Jackie, " he mumbled, walking around her and to his car. She grabbed the door before he could close it.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say..." she took a shaky breath, "Steven, I know you care... You're here. Just please, talk to me. If you don't want me to explain, I won't. If you want to yell, I'll listen. Just please, talk."

He stared forward, gripping the steering wheel tightly. She began to cry again. 

"Steven, please talk to me..."

"Talk to you, Jackie? I can barely look at you."

Her grip faltered for a moment and he took advantage, yanking the door away from her and slamming it shut. She took a few staggered steps back, her expression completely crestfallen as she watched him leave. When Michael came back, now wearing a woman's dark brown robe and some shoes, Jackie was simply staring into the distance.

"Hey, Jackie... I'm really sorry," Michael comforted, attempting to place a hand on her shoulder. She immediately shook it off, turning to look at him in anger. Her hands trembled, so she clenched her fists to try and keep them steady.

"'Nobody can see us doing it in the parking lot,' holding a bucket of ice, and wearing a towel?! That's how you decide to come onto me?! Michael, what the hell?!"

"I said I'm sorry, Jackie! And on the phone, _you_ asked me to come over, and _you_ told me that you and Hyde were over!" 

Jackie pursed her lips and pointed to his car. Micheal didn’t notice that her tremors has grown and spread up her arms. 

"You need to leave."

"But Jackie, now that Hyde's gone, we can," he grunted and thrust his pelvis forward with a grin, "get it on."

Jackie looked at him with fire in her teary eyes. Michael pursed his lips. He hadn't seen Jackie that upset in a while. 

"Leave. I'm calling Donna o-or Mr. and Mrs. Forman to come pick me up... or at least get Steven to talk to me," she demanded, her lip quivering as her voice broke.

"Jackie-"

Her anger faded and she started to sob softly. 

"Michael, just please leave. He couldn't even... He said he couldn't even look at me..."

His smile faded and he looked at her sadly, nodding as he did. 

"I'll just get my clothes and go, then. I'll try and fix it, Jackie."

She nodded and wiped her eyes, sniffing softly. Michael, without really touching her, guided her back to the room in her emotionally devastated state. He did as he said, gathering his things before walking to the door. He stopped and looked back, only wearing the robe as his clothes were still soaked. 

She didn't look up at him, only sat down at the desk with her packed suitcases around her as she picked up the phone, calling the Forman household. He nodded at her and quietly left, closing the door behind him. The phone rang for a while before the other line picked up. Donna cleared her throat on the other line.

"Hello?" she asked sadly, sitting inside her room barely lit by a few candles.

"Donna, it's Jackie, I-" she froze. Usually, other people's feelings didn't make her stop talking, but she just couldn't bring herself to say anything. "I just wanted to check in with you about... how you feel about Eric leaving."

Donna sniffed on the other line, barely hearing Jackie's own congested voice from crying. 

"Yeah, Jackie. Yeah, I'm going to be okay. It's times like this I miss living with you," she admitted, sniffing before laughing quietly. 

"I miss it too, Donna. It was like having a sister."

There was silence for a while. 

"What? No burn? No calling me poor or insulting my clothes or my sheets or my hair or-"

"I get it," Jackie said quietly, a little bit exasperated. 

"But I guess being with Hyde makes you a better person... and a better friend. Is he still there?"

Jackie's eyes watered and she sniffed quietly. 

"He's not here. Let's not talk about me."

"'Let's not talk about me?' Jackie, what the hell happened? You're not using your happy voice. I thought you'd be ecstatic that Hyde came for you."

"I don't know what you're talking about. Did _Steven_ leaving for Africa-" she suddenly burst into tears upon realizing she'd accidentally spoken his name.

"Jackie? Jackie, what's going on? Hyde isn't going anywhere, is he?"

"Nothing! Nothing, I'm fine! Let's talk about you!" she sobbed loudly. 

"Calm down. Tell me what happened."

"No, no, no! This is supposed to be out you and Eric. I-I want to talk about you," she pushed, wiping her eyes and calming down. 

"Jackie, you're really freakin' me out. Eric and I will be fine. We're going to try long distance. And yeah, I'll miss him, but that doesn't mean my life is over. Now tell me what's wrong."

Jackie couldn't hold it in anymore. She told Donna everything about what happened with Michael and Steven, crying softly as she did. 

"So did you and Kelso... you know..."

"No! No, I wouldn't do that! I mean... I thought about it a little bit but I regret even thinking about it, Donna! He was so angry and hurt and I... I'm a horrible person. I need to see him a-and explain..."

"Jackie, calm down. Nothing happened. Hyde is reasonable."

Jackie took in a deep, shaky breath and nodded. 

"Right, right... He's going to be angry for a while, but we can work through it, right?"

"Your relationship is unnatural and weird, but also completely normal. You suit each other in ways I absolutely cannot understand. He always goes back to you, Jackie, and you always go back to him. I mean, as soon as Kelso ditched you, you were pretty much gone. I have to believe that Eric and I have that kind of connection."

Jackie smiled and sniffed. 

"Yeah... Yeah... I can get past him not wanting to get married for now. As long as he understands it's something I eventually want. I just need to talk to him."

"I'll come get you. I've got the keys to the Vista Cruiser."

"Donna, you don't have to do that."

"I know, the drive will do me some good... give me time to think. I'm just glad you sent Kelso away."

"I am too... I think I might kill him the next time I see him."

"You might."

The two laughed quietly and Jackie wiped her eyes. 

"Donna, I'm not... a majorly bitchy all-around bad person, am I?"

"All-around, no. You have humanity, but it would be nice to see it more often. What brought this on?"

"I'm rethinking every decision I've ever made since I was seven and even thought of the concept of marriage as something other than two people annoying the crap out of each other."

Donna suddenly laughed, making Jackie look at the phone in confusion. 

"Excuse me, Donna. Is my misery hilarious?"

"No! No, no, I'm sorry, it's just... I don't think that you've ever second-guessed yourself before."

"I don't second-guess myself! I'm a Burkhart and Burkharts are always right."

"Your dad is in prison, Jackie."

She was quiet for a moment as her eyes went wide. "Oh my god, I'm second-guessing myself?! Is this what it feels like?! It's disgusting! Donna! Donna, please come get me! I need to talk to Steven right now! I-I'm moving back home. Fuck Chicago and this job... all I want is to be with him if he'll take me back."

"Okay, I'll be up there soon, so just make sure you think everything through. Maybe you should just pack an overnight bag or two instead of everything... in case Hyde doesn't... You should just pack for a few days in case you want to keep your job in Chicago."

Jackie took in a shaky breath and nodded, though she knew Donna couldn't see. 

"Yeah... Yeah, you're right. I'll see you soon."

"Jackie, wait, I didn't-"

She quickly hung up the phone, feeling like crying again. She was tired of crying after doing it for so many days but what else could she do? She looked at the desk again, finding a pad of paper and a pen. She'd stopped writing in her diary after she found her mother laughing as she read it after Michael cheated on her. Yet, she was filled with so much emotion and she needed another way to get it out.

After about an hour and a half, Donna arrived, knocking on the door lightly. By then, half the small pad was filled up with her thoughts and feelings. They were all over the place, bouncing back and forth from anger to sadness with a few happy memories recorded between them. She was in one of her more neutral states when she answered. 

"Jackie, I-"

Donna was cut off by a startling hug, but Jackie wasn't crying. 

"I'm so glad you're here, Donna..."

"Don't worry, Jackie. You can be _so_ annoying and self-centered... and bratty, spoiled, and- Not the point, sorry. I mean, you're my best friend in spite of all of those things."

Instead of snapping back, Jackie laughed and pulled back. She didn't bother to insult Donna's outfit or call her out for not using the expensive shampoo she left for Donna's bleached hair. 

"Jackie, are you okay?"

"I'm a little hysterical, but I'm going to be okay. I just need to see Steven as soon as possible and tell him that I love him... and that I'm sorry..."

"I mean, it's the least you could do."

Jackie looked up at Donna flatly before turning on her heel and picking up a single small pink suitcase. 

"You're not moving back?"

She pursed her lips and paused before answering.

"You were right. I'm not sure. I hope so... but I don't know."

"Ready?" Donna asked, stepping to the side so Jackie could leave. She hesitated, looking at the frame cautiously. 

"What if he doesn't... forgive me?"

"Then he'll miss out on the Jackie Burkhart experience."

Jackie laughed and gave Donna a gentle nudge before crossing the threshold and pulling the door shut behind her, an optimistic yet nervous smile on her face. Steven would understand. He had to... eventually. 


	3. Messy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackie and Steven unexpectedly reconnect one year after Chicago.

The first year of the new decade went by quickly after a few hiccups before the new year. Steven got married to a stripper named Samantha, which crushed Jackie's heart. She decided to stay in Chicago, only to be fired and move back to Point Place. Michael moved away to be with Betsy and to take up a security job after abruptly proposing. Jackie declined, to his relief.

A few months later, she developed feelings for Fez, of all people. He was the opposite of the men she’d been with—who hurt her. He was safe and comfortable. Her hair was green for a little while and she worked at a dead-end job, too. She and Steven had held a certain level of animosity between each other, which Donna thought was because of their residual feelings for each other. Of course, she was right. 

Whenever Steven would insult her or their relationship, she would stay strong, snap something just as rude or hurtful back, and go back to her shared apartment with Fez to cool off at the end of the day. Sometimes she was sad, other times she was angry. Either way, she found an outlet for her emotions. She got really into knitting and crochet for a while, as well as design. She even saved up and bought a sewing machine. Her first attempts, of course, were disastrous, but she got better. Things went on like that for over a month.

Jackie usually would've gone to Donna to talk about Steven, but she became distant after Eric left. He'd broken up with her shortly after he moved and she hadn't been the same since. She dated Randy, the new guy, for a while. When Eric returned for New Years, she finally got closure and picked herself back up.

She started a four-year college in the fall of 1980 after going back to her usual optimistic, feminist self. She joined a study abroad program, moving to Bordeaux, France for the semester since her father had the money and he felt bad for moving to Florida. After Eric left, he knew his daughter was lost. If going to Europe would help her find her drive again, he would happily pay all the money in the world. 

Fez found her crying in her room softly one night, which was something she didn't do often. If she was feeling truly intense sadness, she would go for a run or try cooking. She'd gotten used to it while living in Chicago and in the apartment with Fez, but she still tried to avoid touching eggs if possible. That night, she just couldn't shake the way she felt. Steven had been especially cruel that day. Fez looked at her for a moment, then sat down on her bed and wrapped an arm around her. He told her it was okay to cry and offered her a place to do so. It was around that time that her feelings for him first surfaced.

After New Years the two began dating happily. Their first date, their second first date to be exact, went smoothly and ended with them going to their respective rooms after a quick goodnight kiss. Fez was a damn good kisser for someone famously sexually inactive, but sometimes his kisses lacked a certain spark that left her wanting more. It was different from the first time they kissed or when she and Steven first kissed. 

They dated all through the rest of winter, spring, summer, and the beginning of fall. They were happy together, but Jackie was reluctant to have sex. No matter how much she loved Fez or how much Steven hated her, she still grieved her last relationship and how badly it ended. She just wasn't ready to completely move on or surrender herself to someone else again.

Fez was supposed to be the perfect boyfriend: a good listener, sweet, loving, and attentive, but not so afraid of hurting her that he stayed quiet about his opinions. He was everything she'd ever wanted and he made her happy. Happy, sure, but she wasn't content. There was a feeling that pulled at her mind, even though she shoved it down and locked it away. It eventually resurfaced one night in late September.

* * *

Hyde entered the first dive he could find after meeting with Fez and Kelso for a little talk in the Forman basement. They were going to move to the circle, but Fez insisted that they stayed sober for a little while. Jackie's birthday was three days away and he was planning a surprise—one that she'd been wanting since she was a kindergartener. He was going to propose. 

Apparently, Jackie wasn't putting out. She told him that she wasn't ready yet and he partially assumed, with how much she used to pester Hyde about marriage, that she wanted to wait until they were wed. He didn't mind it at all and was actually moved by the thought. Then, greatly crossing the line of too-much-information, Fez told them that she still did other things for him and his infamous needs. Kelso responded with a high-five while Hyde fidgeted in his seat.

"You think she's not having sex with you because you're not married?" he asked, looking at Fez flatly. 

"No. I know Jackie. She'll come around either way... but with how long I've been chasing and waiting, I want her to be my fiancée or maybe even wife when things happen for the first time. I think it'll make things more special."

"You've been dating for less than a year."

"So? I love her and she loves me. I want to be with her and make her happy. Isn't that enough, Mr. Ex-Boyfriend?"

Hyde was quiet for the rest of the night. Kelso was fully supportive of Fez's proposal, which was rather strange as a little less than a year earlier he did the same and got rejected. Hyde, however, was a lot more bothered than he thought he would be. 

He was fine with them dating, but marriage was different. He made up some random excuse about how he needed to do some paperwork at Grooves and casually left with the two of them thirty awkward minutes later.

He entered the bar and looked around, finding himself surrounded by a group of people who looked like an assorted group of thugs, addicts, and bikers. He knew better than to judge. He could've been one of them with a little effort.

Suddenly, laughter echoed through the bar. Many of the faces of those drinking there became warmer as they turned to look at a woman with a long white overcoat sitting at the bar. She clearly didn't belong there, sticking out like a sunflower in the middle of a grass plain. The bartender smiled at her kindly but took the half-empty bottle at her side away, despite her protests.

Hyde walked over, very concerned for the woman. He knew that laugh well. He would recognize it anywhere; it belonged to Jackie. She was hammered to the point of outrageous, uncontainable laughter. It was strangely pure, bringing smiles to even the angriest of faces. 

"Jackie? What are you doing here?" he asked, sitting down on a stool next to her. She turned her head to look at him, a bright smile on her face.

"It's Steven!" she exclaimed happily, extending her arms for a hug. He flinched. She hadn't called him by his first name since she started dating Fez. The bartender looked at him, an eyebrow raised judgmentally.

" _This_ is Steven?" she asked, looking him over as she washed a glass with a tattooed hand. Jackie laughed again, leaning back in her stool as she clung to the bar for support before straightening up. 

"Yeah! This is Steven, Jackie!" Jackie exclaimed, giggling softly as she did. 

"No, no. I'm not Jackie, you're Jackie. Remember?"

Jackie tilted her head to the side, her brown locks sweeping to the side as she did. 

"Am I Jackie..? Is that... Is that my name?" she asked, looking at the bottom of her empty glass as she held it up. "May I please have another?"

"I think you've had enough," the bartender replied, plucking the cup out of her hand and beginning to clean it. Jackie whined and reached for it, nearly falling out of her stool as she did. Hyde extended his arm casually, gently pushing her back in her seat. 

"Easy, Jackie. How much have you had to drink?" he asked from her side. 

"Fi... Si... Seven?" she asked, hesitating before answering as she counted on her fingers

"Seven of what?"

"The good stuff," the bartender replied, holding up a large bottle of whiskey, half-empty. Jackie reached for it but Steven pulled her hand away. She pouted in response. The bartender looked Steven over. She didn't seem impressed. "So, this guy is the one who dumped you for hooking up with your ex?" 

Jackie laughed as Steven was handed a beer by the bartender, assuming the type of person he'd be. For the most part, she was right.

"Nuh-uh, Amelia! We broke up when I moved to Chica...to? Chigaco? Chi...cago! Chicago! And then he saw me with my ex, and then he left and got kind-of married to a lady named Samantha!" Jackie exclaimed with a smile, unable to keep it from her face. She turned to Steven and gently grabbed his chin to make him look at her, surprising him greatly. "But it's okay because he's so foxy! Super cute! Mega hot!"

He coughed slightly and turned away, taking a long drink before handing the bottle back to the bartender, Amelia. His ears were slightly red.

"How do you two know each other?" he asked Amelia.

"Jackie came here and got wasted after you left and didn't come back. She didn't fit in here, but she acted like she did. It was interesting. The next day, she came back and we talked a little bit. She said she was embarrassed about telling me so much. It's a little scary how lucid she is when she's drunk. She comes back whenever she needs someone to talk to, which is pretty often these days."

Jackie laughed in her seat, her head resting against the bar as she did.

"And Amelia is so nice! She always listens, even when we're out to lunch! I don't even have to pay her!"

"You two go for lunch?"

"We catch up every week or so if we don't see each other. I listen to her, she listens to me. I guess we're friends," Amelia noted.

Hyde glanced at Jackie as she continued to giggle, staring at him happily from the bar table. She let out a soft sigh and her laughter faded. 

"Fezzie is a good boyfriend, Amelia. He's good... so why am I here instead of talking to him?" she asked quietly.

"Jackie, it's okay. I know you're upset, but everything is going to be fine," Amelia comforted, placing a hand on Jackie's shoulder. Hyde looked at her again but didn't pry. "Your ex is going to take you home."

He sighed softly and got ready to go when Jackie grabbed his denim jacket. 

"No... Fezzie will be upset if I come home like this and want to talk. I don't want to talk... I want to stay right here. I can sleep on the bar like a cat or something. Let me stay here."

"Jackie, let's go. He'll really be pissed if you stay here all night."

Jackie scoffed and reached behind the bar, quickly popping off the lid of the bourbon bottle she'd been drinking from and pounded it back. It took Hyde a second to wrangle it from her and her strong grip and place it back where she found it. It was another quarter empty. 

"Steven," she whined, reaching for the bottle lazily. He sighed softly and took her hand, holding it before turning her in her stool. He was a bit surprised since Jackie wasn't exactly a drinker. 

"If you want, you can stay in the basement. _On the couch_. Don't go thinkin' that I'll give you my bed just 'cause you're my ex... or you're so hammered you can barely see me."

Jackie nodded as she hopped down from the stool. Her knees buckled underneath her and she stumbled, her ankles wobbling in her red heels while she laughed. She gripped Hyde's hand for support and he immediately moved to help her with his other arm, hovering around her waist as he watched her with care. Amelia's eyebrow raised once again , this time in suspicion, as she cleaned another glass.

"Can you walk?"

Jackie giggled and nodded, taking a failed step toward the exit. As she fell forward, Steven moved in front of her. He caught her and she laughed wildly, allowing her body to rest on his with a smile. Her hands moved to his chest, gently pulling at the shirt beneath his jacket. She hadn't felt as relaxed as she did at that moment since she left for Chicago. 

Her ear was pressed over his heart. She listened for the gentle pounding of his heartbeat, closing her eyes as she did. It was relaxing. Back when they were dating, sometimes after he fell asleep with his arm around her protectively, she would move her head to hear his pulse and feel his breathing. It calmed her down for some reason... as if knowing he was there with her could instantly remedy whatever anxiety, anger, or sadness she felt that kept her awake.

"Jackie, what're you doing?" Amelia asked cautiously. Jackie thought for a moment before realizing that her arms moved to hug Steven rather than lean on him for support.

He reacted in the way he normally did. His hands were awkwardly hovering around her body as he looked at her in surprise. 

"I need a hug and Steven's a good hugger," Jackie replied, drunk to the point of complete honesty. 

"I'm not, so let me go. I need to drive you back to the Formans. Where's your car?"

"Car? I didn't take it or my purse. I've got a running tab and I walked 'cause I knew I was gonna get _super_ drunk when I came here," she explained, slurring her words with a giggle.

Hyde looked at her again curiously but didn't pry. It was very rare for Jackie to intend to get drunk. She didn't like the idea of being vulnerable, weak, or transparent. Even when she was stoned she kept her secrets secret. And just like when she first got used to getting high, whenever she was drunk beyond reason meant she couldn't control her laughter.

"I need you to let go... and don't puke in the El Camino."

Jackie frowned slightly and released him, moving to take another step. Before she could, Hyde lifted her up over her shoulder to carry her out. Her feet dangled over his torso as he walked. A large smile was on her face as she waved at Amelia while Hyde walked to the exit. Amelia chuckled softly and waved slightly in return. Jackie then turned her head to face a group of bikers at a table, her gaze fixed on a large woman clad in leather and tattoos.

"Bye, Rosie! Remember, cut back on the conditioner and your hair will be absolutely gorgeous," she called out. The biker, Rosie, raised her beer glass with a smile and nodded before Jackie turned to the man next to her. "And boys, follow Roy's lead and do what we talked about, alright!" 

Roy nodded in agreement with a smile with the rest of the gang.

"Thanks, darlin'," he replied, making Jackie's expression brighten. She looked at the group at the table as they smiled at her.

"You have all of my points of contact, so call me when you're back in town! I'll buy lunch! Have a nice ride to New York!" she exclaimed happily, blowing them all a kiss. 

"Don't worry, sweetie. We'll pay for lunch. We owe you," Rosie called out, raising her beer bottle once again. "To Jackie Burkhart!"

"To Jackie!" the crew called out as Hyde reached the door. Jackie waved with a smile as it closed behind them.

As she was set down in the passenger's seat of the El Camino, Jackie giggled quietly. He sighed softly and walked around the car to the driver's side, sitting down and starting the car. 

"What was all that in the bar?" he asked. Jackie slid over next to him and rested her head on his shoulder with a soft sigh and a smile.

"Rosie didn't feel pretty, so I gave her some tips. Roy and his wife are on the outs, so I helped him work out what he felt. John, Christopher, and Jeanie were all having problems with their identity so I had them start a support group of sorts. Seems like everyone has their problems. All such lovely people."

Hyde glanced at her slightly before he pulled out of the parking space.

"You'd usually say they're filthy criminals."

"Maybe before, but not now. Not after you, Steven."

His ears tingled slightly. For how much she talked she was good at keeping her thoughts private. Sure, when she was ruthlessly criticizing or gossiping about someone, there was no restraint, but her truest, deepest thoughts were often shielded and tucked away from the world. 

"You know, you made me want to be a better person... I loved you so much and you crushed my heart like an ant under your boot, you ass," she scolded, not moving from her position at his side. He gripped the steering wheel, truly not wanting to hear what she had to say next.

"And I would cry so much because of you. You hurt my feelings practically every day after we broke up. Fezzie took care of me and told me it was okay to be sad... but I just can't shake you, Steven," she added, her voice quivering as she began to tear up. "And now that a year has passed and I've recovered from the broken heart you gave me, I thought I wouldn't have to come to you whenever I'm sad or upset... but you're the only one I _can_ come to."

"Jackie, you have a boyfriend who loves you, remember? You can talk to him about your feelings and crap like that."

"I can't, but I won't talk to you about it either. It's why I'm so glad I have Amelia to spill my guts to... I don't need you to listen to me or anything. I just need you to be there, Steven. Even if you hate me or you don't care, you're my rock. Without you in my life, I'd still be in the bar on a downward spiral. If not as my boyfriend, I need you as my friend. I know it's selfish-"

"It's okay, Jackie... I know was a jackass earlier this year. I'm only telling you because you're so fucking hammered that you won't remember any of this, but I'll always be here for you... It's a part of the ex-boyfriend experience."

Jackie smiled and sniffed, nodding into his shoulder.

"By the way, I know you thought I was trying to change you and you got scared. I don't want anything about you to change, Steven. You're perfect... but you just have so much potential and I'd rather die, or worse, wear last season's accessories than see it waste away. It's not my business, but I'm glad that you've cleaned yourself up... and shaved that god-awful mustache."

Hyde let out a soft laugh. Before he could say something in return about the hair Fez had dyed green, he heard her steady breathing. He took his eyes off the road for a moment to find her curled up on the seat, sleeping against his shoulder. One of her hands was on it's back and resting on his thigh while the other loosely lie over her stomach. 

She smiled softly in her sleep, the weight that had been on her chest all year disappearing in his warmth. The animosity between the two faded in a single night. Steven wasn't angry or upset with her anymore, which was all she'd wanted since they broke up. The sound of his quiet breathing and gentle voice was enough to put her soundly to sleep. For the first time in a while. she felt safe. 

When Hyde reached the Forman's, he tried to wake Jackie up. She refused to budge. He gently shook her, but she only groaned slightly and wrapped her arms around his. She nuzzled her cheek into him and continued to sleep. 

"Jackie, you need to wake up... or at least loosen your death grip on my arm so I can get you out," he requested, trying to wiggle free. 

Once his arm was released he sighed softly, opening the car door and sliding out. Jackie woke up when his warmth disappeared. She sniffed and wiped her eyes. Despite how happy she looked, she'd begun to cry while she was dreaming. She didn't like crying anymore, especially after doing it for so many months at a time.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Steven asked, a bit more worry in his voice than he'd meant to show.

"I had a dream about my dad and me from when I was little... I just haven't thought about him for a long time."

He nodded and offered her his hand. She tried to take it but missed, swinging at the air. He smiled softly and took her hand for her before pulling her out of the car. Jackie giggled and stumbled in her heels once again as she stood in the driveway.

"Good job. You didn't puke in my car," he mumbled. Jackie scoffed. 

"The Burkhart Hangover is never throwing up. It's disgraceful. We get headaches, dizzy, and feel sick, but we never vomit."

Hyde smiled at her answer. He wrapped her arm over his neck to support her, as she was now much more sober than she had been in the bar and could manage to walk with a bit of help. They made their way to the basement. Jackie had taken off her shoes, as they were nearly impossible to walk in given her current state. Despite drinking so much, she still smelled like vanilla. 

Jackie made her way to the couch, taking off her white coat to reveal a silky red dress, clinging to her curves and falling down to her ankles. She wore expensive jewelry and more makeup than her usual lipgloss, mascara, and concealer. It was designed to be modest, covering most of her back and shoulders without the coat, but the way she wore it screamed otherwise. He hadn't noticed it earlier, which made him question if he was blind.

"Damn..." Hyde mumbled under his breath. Jackie turned her head, her perfect curls bouncing over her shoulder to look at him with a smile. She wore red lipstick in a shade that matched her dress. "Where the hell were you?"

"A little party for the Mayor. It's his and his wife's thirtieth wedding anniversary today. Got a quote in my notebook. It's at the apartment," she announced. 

Jackie had been offered a job as the gossip columnist for the Point Place Post, more commonly known as the Tripple P or the Post. It was a relatively new newspaper, but Jackie gratefully took the job, happy to not be working a few part-time jobs to pay rent. 

Sure, she was initially upset she wouldn't be appearing on television, but she eventually came to like writing. She finally understood why Donna was so into it. The Post took off, Jackie's column becoming rather popular among the women and highschool girls in Point Place. The owner, a young and ambitious woman named Sadie Hunter, was saving up enough money to expand into local television as well. 

"You were invited to the Mayor's anniversary party?"

"Of course I was. I'm Jackie Burkhart. It's my job to get dirt on people, or whatever. I can't remember... He was very nice, but I left the party an hour after it started. It was boring in there," she said, somehow sounding completely steady than before.

"I thought you were a gossip columnist, not a reporter."

"Oh yeah... I got what I went there for and left. Something felt wrong, I guess," she explained before stretching out onto the couch. She yawned and rolled over, clearly thinking she was in her bed. Before Steven could catch her, she fell onto the ground with a thud. 

"Jackie, are you alright?"

She looked up at him from the ground, beginning to laugh some more. 

"Absolutely! If you'll just bring me a blanket, I'll be lovely," she replied in a rather posh voice before snickering to herself. 

"Yeah... okay, c'mon. Get up," he ordered, extending his hand once again. This time, she grabbed it and was pulled to her feet. She let out at an excited squeal at the rush. He quickly guided her to his room, as Kitty didn't want to ruin Eric's room by redecorating and Red didn't want Laurie's room tarnished in any way.

Jackie laughed when she saw the inside. After she'd redecorated, Steven stopped letting people in. He wasn't embarrassed about enjoying the scented candles, soft pillows, plushy comforter, and twinkly lights, but the idea of someone else enjoying them was a bit annoying. She was frankly surprised at how much and how little the room changed. 

Nearly everything she'd put in was still there, but Steven had bought a duvet cover for the comforter that was more his speed. When they broke up, he evicted all of her stuffed animals, most of her posters and pink pillows, and the girly chairs she'd put in. Everything else stayed the same. 

She looked around, smiling softly. Her eyes landed on a pale pink poster in the corner of the room. It was surrounded by various band posters she barely recognized, but it was there. The poster depicted a cute cartoon boy and girl sitting together in a flower patch. On it were the words, "Love is forever and ever." She thought that it'd be gone as soon as they broke up, but it remained. 

"Get in the bed and go to sleep, Jackie. Just... don't throw up in here, okay? I'll get a bucket or something," he said quietly, turning to rummage through the basement. Jackie continued to stare at the poster with a smile on her face, her arms crossed loosely. 

"You still have it... Why do you still have it?" she asked, spinning to face him.

"Have what?"

"The poster... my poster."

"I don't know. It's just there. Now, lie down."

Jackie smiled and reached out to touch it, gently running her hand down it with reminiscence in her gaze. Steven sighed and looked at her, knowing she was probably begging for him to ask about it. 

"What's it mean?"

"Hm? Nothing. Aunty bought it for me when I was little. It looks good in here," she explained quietly, walking over to the cot and pulling back the covers to lie down. Hyde's curiosity got the best of him for once. Jackie didn't talk about her family. It was another one of her topics to avoid. 

"'Aunty?'"

"Yeah... Aunty Beulah. Beautiful and amazing woman, awful name. She took care of Daddy when Grandpa left and Grandma died..." Jackie mumbled, thoroughly comfortable underneath the blanket. Her eyes were closing and she felt comfortable enough to get back to sleep. "Aunty Beulah died on my fifth birthday... Weird, huh?"

Before Steven could reply, Jackie was sleeping quietly. There was a soft smile on her face as she slept once again. It usually took her a long time to fall asleep, even when she'd been drinking. For some reason, she was comfortable on the small cot in a cramped, but tastefully decorated, room under the stairs.

Hyde sighed softly and left the room, shortly returning with a bucket placed next to the bed before leaving. He took the couch, despite what he'd said earlier, and moved to lie on his back, staring at the ceiling with his hand tucked under his bed. 

Jackie's shoes rested on the table and her coat was spread on top of the backing of his makeshift-bed. His eyes closed and his breathing steadied. Just as he was about to drift to sleep, her words echoed through his mind.

_"You're perfect."_

He turned on his side and sighed before trying again, closing his eyes and relaxing. 

_"I just can't shake you, Steven."_

He was on his back once again. 

_"It's okay 'cause he's so foxy!"_

Hyde moved to his other side.

_"You're the only one I can come to."_

He sat up. One thing was clear: he wasn't going to get any sleep that night. 


	4. Not Alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackie's birthday is once again a disaster.

Jackie woke up in her bed on her birthday alone. Fez usually slept in the same room as she did. He slept at a respectful distance from her, making sure not to touch her. At first, he didn't want to scare her by moving too fast, but by the time she was getting more comfortable, he couldn't control himself around her. She didn't know why he didn't do anything but she didn't want to ask.

She walked to the kitchen in her nightgown, pouring herself a cup of black coffee in the pot that Fez made for her. He didn't like coffee much without extra creamer or sugar, but he always brewed it for her on her days off.

She smiled softly and took a sip. She learned to like black coffee when she dated Steven. Before, she would drink tea for a burst of caffeine. The first time she was handed a mug of coffee she looked at Steven in disbelief. He told her she didn't have to try it, and of course, she did anyway. It was bitter and disgusting back then, but now, it gave her some sort of comfort along with happy memories of them together.

The phone rang and Jackie walked over, picking it up with a smile.

"Hello?"

"Happy Birthday, Jackie!" Donna exclaimed on the other line. Jackie's face lit up and her smile brightened.

"Oh my god, Donna?! I haven't spoken to you in forever! The charge for long-distance is crazy!" Jackie exclaimed.

"I'm sorry for not calling, but it's been fun writing letters. Did you get my postcards?" Donna asked.

"I have. Germany, Switzerland, Spain, and of course, France. They're amazing, Donna. Are you having a good time?"

"Yes... Studying and traveling helps me keep my mind off of everything with Eric," she admitted quietly into the phone before taking a deep breath. "How are you and Fez doing? Sealed the deal yet?"

Jackie sighed softly and shook her head, though Donna couldn't see.

"No... I thought I would be ready by now..."

"It's okay, Jackie. I know you're not over Hyde yet, and-"

"Excuse me? What do you mean, I'm not over Steven? I'm over Steven!"

"Steven? Since when do you call him Steven again. You just kind of stopped when you started dating Fez."

"I..." Jackie paused, pursing her lips, "Donna, Steven and I were angry with each other before. We got over it, and now we're trying to be friends."

"Really? When?"

"Three days ago. Things are going well... We've been getting along."

"Have you, now? I want you to be aware of your feelings, Jackie. Why do _you_ think you haven't been willing to sleep with Fez?"

Jackie was quiet on the other line. She took a breath and exhaled swiftly.

"Will you be back for Thanksgiving?"

"Absolutely. I wouldn't miss Mrs. Forman's yams for anything. Why? Miss me?"

"You wish, lumberjack," Jackie teased with a laugh.

"I'll be back before you know it."

They talked for a minute more before hanging up. Sadie, Jackie's boss, had given her the day off. As it was a weekly paper and it had been so jam-packed, Jackie already finished her section. She sighed softly and finished her coffee, cleaning the mug and placing it in the washer before moving to the couch.

She didn't like celebrating her birthday much. Steven asked her about it once, wondering why she didn't absolutely love the day solely dedicated to her. Ever since she could remember, she hated her birthday. Even before her aunt died.

Her earliest vivid memory was at her third birthday party. She was in her room sitting on her bed, hiding from the other children outside. She didn't know any of them. They were all the kids of her parent's friends, peers, or bosses.

Most of the mothers were sipping Pam's cheaper chardonnay while the fathers moved to Jack's office and den for a game of blackjack, a glass of brandy, and a cigar. The kids ran around, chasing each other giddily. Jackie could see them from her bedroom window. She wanted to be with her family on her birthday, not a bunch of strangers picking their noses.

The next five birthdays were just as lonely and awful, but her seventh was by far the worst. Her mother got drunk and had sex with the clown when Jack didn't show up... again. Her father had become distant and cold after his sister died on that day two years prior. Jackie looked quite a bit like Beulah with her brown hair and large, gentle eyes, but Pam was confident that her daughter's body would develop into the signature tempting one of her side of the family. She was right, of course, but it didn't matter. 

Jack used to be a caring father. He wanted to be better than his own. The father who ditched his family when he fell in love with his assistant and ran off with her, taking the majority of the Burkhart fortune and leaving his children and sickly wife behind. When Beulah died of the same disease as their mother, which she'd been fighting for years, he immediately had Jackie tested. It slipped his mind that she could've inherited it. 

After Jackie was cleared, he allowed himself to grieve. Beulah had reminded him of his drive and his purpose but without her, he was lost. He started working more, pushing later hours and eventually joining the city council. Jackie missed him, but she didn't want to say anything. Pam told her not to, as she was having fun with her various revenge affairs while reaping the benefits of a rich husband.

Jack, who'd grown up without the money he'd been promised, always worried about being poor again. He'd seen Beulah drop out of high school and work herself half to death to pay for his education and their mother's hospital bills. When he placed a few bad investments and lost over half his fortune, he embezzled money to keep his family afloat until he could pay it back and bribed an official to keep it quiet. Of course, he was arrested for this, leaving Jackie and Pam on their own just like his father had.

Jackie's seventh birthday party was her last. She decided she didn't want any more big parties just so she could further witness her parent's marriage fall apart and her life and family crumble. Celebrating her birthday didn't feel like a big deal anymore. Still, she was a little lonely being by herself. Of course, she still loved the presents and attention. When people asked her about her no-doubt extravagant parties, she lied her ass off and made them up for the same of making sure nobody asked why she didn’t celebrate.

She half-expected some kind of birthday surprise from Fez, being as sentimental and caring as he was. She wasn't disappointed, of course. His surprises were a little awkward for her as they were mostly overtly sexual, but she liked the effort and thought he put into them. She spent most of the morning in her pajamas, which was a rarity in her busy life. When she finally got ready, she decided to look around for Fez. Jackie looked at the mirror with a smile. Her birthday was off to a good start. The bad things that happened in the past on or near that day were just coincidences. This year would be different. 

* * *

Jackie drove through the streets of Point Place in the car her mother left behind, a white Volkswagon beetle. Practically as soon as Jackie left for Chicago, Pam had packed up and moved to Vancouver. Jackie was the only thing keeping her in Point Place. She renewed her real estate license and used the money from the sale of their house to buy a second, a new car, and fund her new business. Pam Burkhart was many things, and clever was definitely one of them. It was a trait inherited by her daughter.

When Jackie reached The Hub, Fez wasn't there. She'd already checked the candy shop and the salon. Her next stop was going to be the Forman's but she was stopped by the smell of greasy food. She was hungrier than she thought, the smell of food pulling at her until her stomach growled. She was usually one to watch what she ate, not that she had to with her metabolism, but some fries and a burger sounded amazing. 

A few minutes later, she took a seat with her rather large order of food and began eating quietly. The only other place she could think of that Fez could possibly be was the Forman's. She just needed to eat first. Halfway through her meal, the door opened. 

"Jackie!" Michael exclaimed from the doorway. He hurried over and took the seat next to her, plucking up one of her fries and eating it.

"Michael, what are you doing here? I thought you were in Chicago," Jackie asked, looking at him with an eyebrow raised as he continued to pick at her food.

"I was. I came back to visit my family, the guys... you," he explained quietly, his gaze darting up to her for a moment before returning to the plate. "Happy birthday, by the way. I have a present, but I'll give it to you later."

Jackie smiled and wiped her hands with a napkin.

"Thanks, Michael... Have you seen Fez? He's been gone all day and I've pretty much checked everywhere. "

"Nope. No Fez, no birthday things... nothing!"

She sighed softly and nodded. If anyone else was saying such strange things, she would've been suspicious, but Michael was different. Half of the time he didn't know what he was saying. 

"It's good to see you, Michael. I haven't seen Besty in months. Do you have any pictures?"

He smiled and reached for his wallet, pulling out a barrage of black and white photographs of his daughter. Jackie smiled and pulled her seat next to him. She placed her hand on his arm as she leaned over him slightly, looking at the pictures with a loving expression on her face. Michael looked at her warmly. 

"I was right to choose you and Hyde as her godparents... I mean, I know you guys broke up but I don't think that anyone outside of her mom, grandparents, and I love her as much as you do. You care so much about everyone, Jackie, even when you're being a major pain. It's why I love you."

Jackie's body stiffened and she pulled her body away quickly to look at him in surprise. She thought his feelings for her faded after he proposed. In their own way, they were both relieved when she said no to his proposal. 

Michael was pleased for obvious reasons, with his move to Chicago for a job and his one-on-one time with Betsy increasing. Jackie felt relief with her feelings finally out in the open. She loved him in the way that most people remain attached to their first love. For a long time, she thought the two were destined for one another, but now she questioned if soulmates existed in the first place.

"Aw, c'mon, Jackie. Don't give me that look. I didn't mean anything by it, alright? I know you and Fez are a thing. I'd never do anything to hurt 'im."

She hesitantly nodded and cleared her throat. 

"Right. Fezzie misses you a lot more than I thought he would. You two are... really close," she noted, studying his expression carefully. Michael smiled in response.

"He's a good little buddy."

Jackie nodded and took a drink of water, setting the glass down before standing up.

"I'm going over to the Forman's. Coming?"

"Nah, I'm supposed to meet someone here in a few minutes, so it's good you're heading out anyways. See you around, Jackie."

She nodded and smiled, looking back at him before leaving. As she drove toward the Forman's, she let out a soft puff of air. She was a little bit jarred by Kelso's random confession, but she was able to shake it off. It was obvious that they shared the same type of love, first love, but it wasn't _true,_ real love. She thought she'd found that with Steven, but everything the universe threw at the two of them screamed otherwise.

When she reached the house, nobody was home. Kitty, Red, and Steven were out doing something but the key to the basement door was just where the group had hidden it. She searched around, thinking that surely Fez was with Steven doing something stupid. They were nowhere to be found.

As she searched the kitchen, the phone rang. Jackie quickly picked up the pen near the phone before answering, ready to take a message. 

"Hello? Forman residence, this is Jackie."

The voice on the other line spoke quickly, her grip on the phone tightening.

"Yes, this is Jackie Burkhart..."

More quiet chatter from the other end of the line.

"I know that he was moved, but-"

At this point, her hands were shaking. She put the pen down on the nearby notepad and exhaled slowly before turning around, grasping the phone with both hands.

"I don't understand. Could you please repeat that?"

Jackie was quiet for a moment after her request was fulfilled. Before the person on the other line could say anything else, she hung up. Her legs lost their strength and she slowly crumbled to the ground. She tucked her knees into her chest, wrapping her arms around them and staring forward blankly as if in a trance.

Hyde entered the kitchen, turning on the lights as he did. He needed a drink. Fez called Kelso, Hyde, Donna, and Forman to the Hub to tell everyone the plan for his big proposal. Donna and Forman had flown in early that morning after being persuaded by Fez's many letters. Apparently, he'd been planning for a while. 

It was nice seeing everyone together again. Well, everyone but Jackie. Without her there, the group was a little off. Whenever Forman would say something especially nerdy, Hyde could tell that he was forming some kind of comeback to one of Jackie's burns. The two had always fought like family. Kelso, of course, took the silence as a green light but couldn't think of anything at the moment.

Throughout the meetup, Donna kept glancing at Hyde. It was as if she expected him to react in some way. He'd heard she called Jackie as soon as she got to Milwaukee for a birthday surprise. Jackie might've said something about the two. Donna and Forman had terrible jetlag and it showed. Maybe she was just tired. He didn't care enough to ask.

When he got back to the Forman's, he was pretty much exhausted. Fez had bought candles, flowers, and pretty much everything Jackie liked. All of her friends would be at their apartment later that night when she came back. Theoretically, it was the perfect proposal for her, yet something about it didn't feel right with Hyde. 

Jackie was open about her opinions, but most aspects of her life were big red zones. She didn't mind people celebrating her birthday as long as she wasn't forced into doing it. She didn’t throw parties or brag about her presents, nor did she ever want to talk about why. Now, he figured it was because of her aunt's death alongside the clown incident.

Hyde opened the refrigerator and pulled out a can of beer. When he turned around, he jumped slightly. Jackie was on the floor, practically in a ball. She had a blank expression as she stared forward. He was clearly in her line of sight but she didn't seem to see him.

"Jackie? What're you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at your apartment with Fez? I know you like relaxing on your birthday."

She didn't answer. Hyde took a few steps toward her, snapping his fingers in front of her eyes. She flinched and looked up at him, blinking a few times.

"Steven? When did you get here?"

She looked pale, somehow shaken. It wasn't often that Jackie was so uncharacteristically quiet or seemed so terrified. Hyde sighed quietly and moved to sit down on the floor next to her, his legs extended.

"What's goin' on, Jackie? It's not like you to zone out," he asked, cracking open the can of beer and immediately drinking from it.

She tensed slightly, squeezing her legs.

"My dad... he was moved from protective custody to general population."

Hyde put the can down and turned to look at her. She rarely talked about her father and when she did, she kept things to a minimum. She'd barely gotten over her denial toward what he'd done.

"What are they, stupid? Your dad was a District Attorney before he decided to start his firm, right? Do they know what any of the people still in there 'cause of him might do?"

Jackie turned to look at him. There wasn't a tear in her eye nor sadness in her expression. She just seemed lost.

"They transferred him three days ago. Today the Warden said Daddy cut a deal with him so he could be put on parole and see me for my birthday..."

He took his sunglasses off and looked at her seriously. Without the tint of his glasses, she looked even more frazzled. He recalled her drunken state three days prior. It made a lot more sense now. She took in a shaky breath.

"There were seven prisoners that he jailed for major crimes over twenty years ago. They all got life sentences from Daddy. Three of them got their revenge. This morning he was stabbed sixteen..." her voice cracked and she tried again, "sixteen..."

She couldn't get the words out. Jackie still didn't seem like she was going to cry, but Hyde could tell that it was something on the inside that was missing. For some reason, it hurt him to see her in such a broken state. 

He wasn't supposed to care about her anymore. Sure, they were friendly again, but that didn't mean they were friends. Even when they were friends there were feelings there. Those feelings were gone... or at least they should be. 

Not knowing what else to do, he placed his hand on her arm. Hyde wasn't exactly the best at friendly displays of affection but Jackie was usually able to understand his intentions. After they dated for a while, he became more comfortable with being casually intimate. 

He never minded anything passionate like a kiss in public, but somehow a hug or a simple gesture like holding someone's hand felt awkward and strange. With Jackie, it didn't bother him that much. Though he would never admit it, he even _enjoyed_ the friendliness in her gentle touch.

Jackie felt his hand on her arm. She nearly immediately relaxed from her position curled up on the floor. Her legs slowly extended and her eyes never left his. She was scared to look away... like if she did, reality would crash down on her in a large wave and she would be crushed. 

Steven didn't smile or offer kind words. He didn’t try in any way to comfort her other than offer his hand, either. Yet, he calmed her deeply. She reached her other hand over and placed it on top of his, squeezing it gently. Her head moved to rest on his shoulder and she let out another shaky breath.

"Is he gone?" Steven asked. Jackie nodded, pursing her lips for a moment. 

"I don't know what's wrong with me. What type of person doesn't cry-" she stopped, "Today has been so strange. I saw Michael and we had a talk, Fez is missing, Donna called me... is there something going on? I don't think I can handle anything else happening today."

"Don't you and Donna talk?"

"Well, yeah... through letters. We agreed the long-distance calls are too expensive for Donna and me to pay for how long we talk."

A smile pulled at his lips. Jackie took his hand and guided it down her arm, quickly lacing her fingers between his. Her other hand rested over their intertwined ones. They were cold and she was trembling. There wasn't a romantic intention behind her action. Hyde didn't try to wiggle free as he usually would. He let her hold his hand tightly like he was her lifeline. After a few minutes, he spoke up.

"Fez will get worried about you if you don't get back to your apartment. He has something that I'm pretty sure you'll like... maybe not today, but later," he moved to get up and continued, "I'll call and-"

She squeezed his hand and looked up at him.

"Steven, can we please just stay here for a while? I don't want to see anybody yet. Including Fez."

"I don't count as a person?" Hyde asked with a somewhat cocky smile. She let out a soft, short laugh as he sat back down.

"Fezzie has some trouble understanding boundaries. There are times when I don't want to talk, believe it or not. I don't think he's comfortable with silence. It's nice being quiet like this... I just need it to be quiet right now. Will you stay?"

He looked at her before nodding, tossing his head back and finishing the can of beer in one go. He crushed it and held his hand up, placing the can on the surface of the counter behind them. The two of them sat in silence on the kitchen floor for a while. Hyde would glance down at her for a few seconds, thinking she'd fallen asleep, but she was just quiet. Every once in a while she would squeeze his hand and let out a breath. Sometimes he would squeeze back. After fifteen minutes Hyde once again broke the silence.

"Jackie, you should go back home. Fez is gonna be worried again, remember?"

"Yeah... Yeah, I know," she said quietly, once again squeezing his hand but not moving to get up. "Thanks for being here, Steven. You're a good friend."

That stung... A lot more than he thought it would, too. He'd been friend-zoned by Donna a while back and that was fine. It didn't really bother him since he'd at least _tried_. With Jackie, things were different; much more complicated. Her boyfriend was nowhere to be found while she was going through a crisis, on her birthday no less. Rather than the anniversary of the deaths of both her aunt and her father, it was supposed to be a happy day... the day she got engaged.

Again, another sting to the heart. Why did it bother him so much that Fez was going to propose? Maybe it was because Hyde knew that Jackie most definitely would not want to get engaged on the day her father died. After she left, he'd have to call Fez and let him know that it wasn't a good time to pop the question. He was supposed to be with them when Fez asked but the thought sickened him to his core.

"Steven, I'm okay. I promise," Jackie stated suddenly, offering a smile. She still didn't seem completely herself but she was getting there.

"What do you mean? I'm not worried."

She suddenly giggled slightly. It was strange to hear after seeing her so disoriented. She gently tapped the space between her eyebrows with her finger.

"I can tell you are. You get this little crinkle right here when you're thinking about something seriously," she then glanced at his free hand as it rested on his leg with his pinky finger tapping against it slightly, "And your only restless when you're really uncomfortable, worried, or angry."

Hyde looked at her for a second in slight confusion. Jackie wasn't the type to pay attention to other people, but she read his body language like it was one of her _Cosmo_ 's.

"Just 'cause I'm fidgety doesn't mean I'm worried about you."

"Then why have you been staring at me for the past few minutes?"

Those words hit him like a swift punch to the stomach. Had he really been staring at her? Sure, he'd glanced at her a few times but she didn't notice. Suddenly, everywhere she was touching him felt like it was on fire. His heart was racing. His body moved on its own, trying to pry itself away from Jackie for his own protection. Hyde's hand separated from hers and he placed some distance between them.

"Are you alright? You look pale..." she asked, reaching out for his hand again as it pressed against the floor. He immediately stood up and brushed himself off, taking the single beer can and throwing it away.

Jackie looked at him from the ground for a moment before standing up. He was acting strangely. Steven wasn't the type to physically show his discomfort, but she was fairly certain that what she was seeing was his version of being jumpy.

Hyde took a quiet, deep breath as he tried to collect his thoughts. It simply wasn't possible. It couldn't be happening _again_. Jackie pursed her lips and sighed softly. 

"I'll just get going, then... I'll see you tomorrow..." she said quietly before walking down to the basement. It was clear Steven needed a minute.

He didn't hear her leave. Blood was rushing to his ears as they turned slightly red and tingled. 

"No fucking way..." he mumbled, quickly standing up and running his hand through his hair. Did he have a thing for Jackie again? "No. Not possible."

They were apart for a whole year, practically throwing knives at each other during their pointed conversations. All of the irritating things she did resurfaced at once when they broke up. He almost forgot she annoyed the crap out of him. It had to be impossible for her to get back under his skin. Or maybe he never got over her in the first place.

Before Donna left, she was convinced that Hyde still had feelings for Jackie and possibly vice-versa. At the time, Jackie and Fez were months into their relationship. Hyde had seen a few chicks but they didn't catch his interest. Donna swore it was because of Jackie, as well as her unwillingness to sleep with Fez stemming from her lingering love for him. Both denied it immediately but did nothing to prove her wrong.

"Jackie, you need to-" Hyde stopped, realizing she'd left. He was so rattled he didn't even notice. He felt sick and miserable: an undeniably strange occurrence. Picking up the phone next to him, he dialed the number for Fez and Jackie's apartment. 

"Hello?" Donna asked, answering the call. 

"Hey, Donna. You need to tell Fez that he needs to hold off on his proposal for now. Today's not right."

"What? Why?"

"Not my place to tell you."

There was the faint sound of a door closing in the background before Donna returned.

"So you admit you still love Jackie?"

"Still? The hell do you mean, 'still?' I'm not-" he stopped and sighed softly, "I'm just saying today is not the right day."

"Hyde, you're just worried about Jackie getting married to someone else. You know she's never going to get divorced. She's too stubborn. You'll see that Jackie's going to be really happy when you get here."

"Today isn't the right day."

"You keep saying that, but until you're ready to admit what's going on I won't believe you."

Hyde stopped, thinking for a moment. He'd usually tell Donna in a heartbeat about why Jackie couldn't be proposed to that day, not thinking anything of it, but something was different. Maybe she was right and he just didn't want Jackie to get engaged. She would never call off an engagement, let alone a marriage. Was he protecting her or himself? And why would he even try to protect her in the first place?

"Whatever," he grumbled before hanging up. 

The sun was still out but he didn't care. He needed to get wasted, bad. Better yet, laid. He quickly left the Forman house and drove to the closest bar.

* * *

When Jackie reached the apartment building, she saw a rather familiar car in the driveway. It was Michael's bright orange sports car. Jackie looked at it for a moment before turning to her apartment's door. Michael was in there. She didn't want to see anyone, not even Fez. She just wanted to go to her room and sleep, even though it was five in the afternoon.

Maybe they wouldn't notice her if she was quiet enough. Or maybe they were watching whatever game would be on that night and she could just greet them and go to bed. She turned the key as quietly as she could. It barely made a sound. She slowly opened the doors to find the apartment decorated with pink and white streamers. 

The blinds were drawn and the curtains were closed, the only sources of light being at least a hundred candles placed around the apartment and the brightness seeping in from the doorway. An assortment of flowers filled the room. The couch was pushed to the side, leaving space for nearly all of her friends and loved ones to be standing in the soft glow of the candlelight. 

Jackie's eyes landed on Donna, who was smiling at her happily. Eric was next to her with Michael, both of them excited for what was to come. Even her boss, Sadie, and her officemate and fellow columnist, Joanna, were there. 

Fez stood in the center of the room, a bright look in his eyes. Jackie, her keys in one hand and the doorknob in the other, was disoriented and confused. Her white purse was resting over her elbow. She looked around the room once again, reading everyone's expression. 

"Hello, Jackie," Fez spoke. Jackie's gaze landed on him, the same bewildered expression on her face. "I'm glad you've made it..."

"Fez... what's going on?" she asked cautiously, her heart squeezing in pain and anxiety as she started to piece together the situation.

"Jacquline Burkhart, my love and my goddess," he began, reaching into his pocket. "I was stricken by your beauty when I first laid eyes on you. I know you're past experiences have left you worried about the future, but I assure you, I'll stay by your side as long as you'll have me."

Her heartbeat picked up and her hands became cold. She squeezed the doorknob in her hand as Fez slowly got down on one knee, pulling out a beautiful diamond engagement ring from his pocket. It was much more expensive than he could afford.

"Will you please allow me to become your husband so that I may have the pleasure of calling you my wife?"

Jackie stared at him for a moment in silence. She didn't say anything, she didn't move... Her eyes darted toward Donna, whose smile immediately faded when she saw the fear and sadness in Jackie's eyes. Donna began to walk toward Jackie, but it was already to late. Jackie turned and slammed the door behind her, quickly running down the stairs and back to her white car.

Donna was the first to chase after her, opening the door once again and hurrying down the stairs. By the time everyone else digested what just happened and rushed outside, Jackie's car was already pulling out of its space. 

"Jackie! Jackie, come back!" Donna called, reaching the space just before Jackie left. The white beetle didn't turn around.

Jackie didn't know where she was going. Her hands were still freezing and hard to move as her heart pounded wildly in her ears. She never expected Fez to propose. Not once had she mentioned marriage to him, not to say she hadn't thought of it. Married life with Fez would be peaceful and calm. She even thought about them having children one day, though she had trouble picturing them. 

The sun had set by the time she reached the Forman's. She didn't know where else to go. She would've gone to talk to Kitty or Red, but Donna, Eric, Fez, and Michael were probably looking for her. Kitty and Red would call to tell them she was there. There was only one person she wanted to talk to at that moment. 

She knocked on the basement door, as she'd forgotten to put the key back in its place when she left. It was rare of her to do such a thing but she was still a little frazzled from her father's death. To her surprise, a busty blonde woman answered the door. She was beautiful... and clearly there for Steven. The only thing she wore was one of his tees.

"Who are you?" the woman asked. Jackie pursed her lips, unable to answer. She felt like crying for some reason. She quickly turned around and walked away, not saying a word. 

Hyde walked over to the door, finding the blonde woman he'd picked up at the bar staring outside with a look of confusion on her face. He didn't remember her name. 

"Who was it?" he asked. The woman turned and shrugged before closing the door. 

"Just some little brunette. She was hot. Your girlfriend? She come to play? I’m down for it."

The first person Hyde thought of was Jackie, but she knew where the key was. It couldn't have been her. He shook his head and rubbed his forehead. The alcohol was wearing off and giving him a headache. He walked back to his bedroom followed by the woman. They weren't tired and there was more to do.

As soon as Jackie returned to her car, she rested her head on the steering wheel as she took in deep breaths. She sat there for a minute in silence, collecting her thoughts once again before turning the key and backing up. She had a full tank of gas, all of her credit and debit cards, a wallet full of cash, and her passport was still in her car from months earlier when she last went to visit her mother, the only person left she could talk to.

* * *

After a little over an hour of searching, the group decided to wait until the next morning to look for Jackie. Donna and Eric returned to the Forman's for dinner. Kitty cooked Eric's favorite meal, excited to see her son again. Kitty and Red would've gone to see Fez's proposal but Kitty was too busy cleaning for Eric's return and Red didn't care enough to go without her. 

"Hey, mom... Has Jackie called?" Eric asked cautiously at the dinner table. Donna sat next to him. She was staying in Laurie's room since her old one next door wasn't available after her father sold the house.

"No, she hasn't. Probably too happy. Now, tell me about the proposal. Was it as perfect as she's always dreamed?" Kitty asked in reply. 

Donna nearly choked on her food. Eric offered her a napkin as she coughed before taking a long drink of water. 

"She, um... actually didn't say yes. She just kinda ran away," he admitted awkwardly. Kitty looked up at him in surprise as Red continued to eat. "Kelso is staying at their apartment. Fez is really upset."

"Good for her," Red mumbled, "She can do better. I would know. That foreign boy was married to Laurie and he drove her crazy."

Before Eric could make a comment about Laurie being a whore, Kitty stepped in.

"What happened? Jackie and Fez love each other, don't they? Steven used to complain about how much she wanted to marry him. Do you think she's not over him yet?" she asked Donna.

"I honestly don't know. She didn't look guilty. She looked sad..." she replied, then looked around. "Where is Hyde, anyways?"

"He wasn't with you earlier? He got back a while ago pretty off his ass. I just thought he got drunk at your party," Red stated. 

"No. He called earlier and said that Fez shouldn't ask Jackie to marry him. Something about today not being right."

Kitty sighed loudly and cut her meat angrily. 

"Those two should just work out whatever the hell went wrong with them if Jackie's willing to call off an engagement for him. For some reason, that loud girl made Steven so happy. Happier than we've ever made him."

Eric and Donna both laughed quietly and Red smiled slightly. 

"Maybe it's 'cause she knows how to hold a damn flashlight."

The conversation changed direction afterward. Eric and Donna recounted some anecdotes from their time living away from Point Place. Kitty caught them up about what happened while they were gone. As dinner ended, the phone rang. Kitty moved to answer, but Donna got there first.

"Hello?" she asked, clearly hoping Jackie would answer. 

Just as Donna let out a soft sigh of relief, a tired-looking Hyde came upstairs in a pair of sweatpants. He didn't have his sunglasses on, as he'd just gotten out of bed. As he walked toward the fridge to get a snack and something to drink, Donna caught his attention. 

"Jackie, thank god!" she exclaimed. He turned toward the phone, popping the cap off of a soda. "Where the hell are you!?"

Eric immediately walked over, trying to listen in on the conversation, as Kitty cleared the table.

"I'm so sorry that I left like that. I just needed to get away. I'm in Milwaukee... at the airport. I'm going to go see my mom," Jackie explained. The chatter from people behind her was only a bit softer than her voice was.

"Milwaukee? Jackie, you need to come back. Fez is crushed."

"I know... I know, but you have tell him that it's not his fault. I have to work out some things and I can't do that in Point Place. I just got off the phone with Sadie and Joanna. I'm taking the next few weeks off without pay, but I'll probably be back before then. It sucks that I won't get to see you..."

"You can see me in an hour if you drive back. I'm leaving soon."

"Donna, I can't. Something... Some _things_ happened and I need to talk to my mom. I'll be in Vancouver if you want to come. I'll pay for your ticket," Jackie offered.

"As in Canada?" Eric asked rather loudly. Donna nudged him gently with her elbow as Jackie laughed quietly. 

"Hi, Eric. Nice to hear from you," she greeted. 

"Hey, Jackie..." he replied awkwardly. "Why'd you run away like that? Too scared of getting married to Fez?"

Jackie was quiet for a moment. 

"Is Steven there?" she asked suddenly. Donna turned and looked at Hyde, who'd moved to be closer to the phone.

"Yeah, he's here. Do you want to talk to him?" 

"No... he has company and I wouldn't want to keep him."

Jackie mentally slapped herself. She sounded so jealous and hurt. Her feelings and emotions felt like they were twisted up inside of her. It was confusing. Vancouver would give her some time to clear her head and come to terms with how she felt.

Donna and Eric turned to look at Hyde with wide eyes, both of them looking him up and down in surprise. 

"What?" he asked in confusion and annoyance, crossing his arms as he did. 

"Nothing..." Eric replied as Donna returned to the phone. 

"I don't think I can go, Jackie. I'm already flying out to Florida in a few days to see my dad."

Jackie smiled softly.

"Good. Tell Mr. Pinciotti I said hi..." she paused, "My group is boarding soon. I've got to go. Please don't tell Fez or anyone else where I am. I just need some time."

Donna sighed quietly and nodded, rubbing her temples as she did.

"I guess I'll talk to you later, Jackie. Be sure to call me when you get there."

"I'll call you in the morning, okay? I'm not sure how long the flight will be."

"Fine. You better make sure you do."

Jackie laughed and smiled. 

"Thanks, Donna... And you might've been right about my feelings toward Steven..." she said quietly before hanging up. 

"Wait, what?! Jackie!" Donna exclaimed as the dial tone rang in her ears. 

"What happened?" Eric asked. He hadn't listened to the last part, thinking the conversation was over.

Donna turned and once again looked at Hyde with wide eyes.

"Seriously, what happened? Why do you keep looking at me like that? It's weird," he said flatly.

"Nothing... No, nothing. Just a little surprised."

"Why? She say something about me?"

Before Eric could answer, Donna shook her head. 

"Nope. Just wanted to check-in."

He nodded and walked away, returning to the basement with his bottle of soda. Donna tapped Eric's arm with the back of her hand and walked into the living room, signaling him to follow.

"Donna, you didn't have to spare him from the wrath of Kitty and Red for having a girl down there. It would've been entertaining," he noted with a smile. 

"Jackie still loves Hyde," Donna said quickly. Her voice was lowered so only he could hear her.

"You're kidding me, right? I mean, they could barely stand each other last time I was here."

"Maybe love isn't right, but she definitely has residual feelings. I kept telling them their fights were because they still care about each other, but _no!_ " Donna exclaimed, her voice still hushed.

"So is that why she left?"

"I don't know, but that might be part of it."

Eric thought for a moment and nodded. 

"Should we tell Hyde?" Eric asked. 

"Definitely not. He's not a touchy-feely guy, remember? I don't think he'll like a half-assed confession over the phone delivered by his closest friends. She needs to tell him when she gets back once she's figured everything out."

"Why does everything complicated have to happen when we're in town?" he asked, sighing sightly.

Donna smiled. 

"Nothing happens without us, Forman, and you know it."


	5. Nothing Changes

Jackie sat in her car at the airport. She'd parked in the long-term lot, paying the fine in advance. It wasn't in a bad part of Milwaukee but she decided to take her valuables in her carryon anyways. She walked around the car to the trunk and opened her large purse, emptying out anything that wasn't important.

She looked around the small compartment, finding a few useful things. She grabbed the spare bag full of hygiene products and makeup from the nights she'd stay at the office and work, a loose hairbrush, and a rather thick book she'd begun to read. Just as she was about to close the trunk, her eyes landed on a white rectangular box. She knew it's contents well.

Slowly, she reached for it and pulled the top off. A smile formed on her face as she peeled back the thin layer of tissue paper hiding the Led Zeplin tee inside. It always seemed to find her when she felt sad or alone. It felt nostalgic for some reason. She hadn't intended to carry it around with her. She'd hidden it in her car when she and Fez started dating, not wanting him to know she kept it close.

Back then, Jackie didn't realize why she decided to hide it. She had reasoned that it was because she didn't want Fez to get jealous. If that was true, she could've just thrown it away. She couldn't bring herself to do it, so she put the box in her trunk and decided not to think about it anymore. Maybe if she understood why, she could've saved Fez and herself some heartbreak. He told her he didn't want to be her 'sloppy thirds.' She should've listened.

The airport was loud and chaotic as Jackie moved through it, clutching her purse straps with one hand and her ticket with the other. In her purse, underneath her book and passport, was the Zeplin shirt. Having it around tended to make her feel better and she needed all the help she could get. She quickly headed for the phones and called her mom. She'd been lucky enough to buy a last-minute ticket for the flight leaving in less than an hour.

Her second call was to Sadie, apologizing for running out and worrying her and Joanna. She asked for the next few weeks off, without pay. Sadie agreed, of course, and assured Jackie that her job would be waiting. Her final call was to the Forman's. She held her breath as the phone rang.

"Hello?" Donna asked. Jackie relaxed, releasing the cord connecting the receiver to the dial pad she'd been playing with in anticipation.

"Hey, Donna..."

"Jackie, thank god!" she exclaimed. Jackie smiled softly, feeling guilty for worrying her friend so much.

"I'm so sorry I walked out like that... I just needed to get away. I'm in Milwaukee... at the airport. I'm going to see my mom."

"Milwaukee? Jackie, you need to come back. Fez is crushed."

She flinched, her heart stinging at Donna's words. She didn't mean to hurt Fez, but she'd been overwhelmed. A lot had happened that day before she got back to the apartment. Never before had she felt such a strong desire to run.

"I know... I know, but you have to tell him that it's not his fault. I have to work out some things and I can't do that in Point Place. I just got off the phone with Sadie and Joanna. I'm taking the next few weeks off without pay, but I'll probably be back before then. It sucks that I won't get to see you..."

"You can see me in an hour if you drive back. I'm leaving soon."

Jackie pursed her lips before answering, once again grabbing the loose cord. 

"Donna, I can't. Something..." she paused, taking a breath, "Some _things_ happened and I need to talk to my mom. I'll be in Vancouver if you want to come... I'll pay for your ticket."

For a long time, Donna and Steven had been her emotional support system. They got her through her father's imprisonment, her mother abandoning her, and losing almost everything at once. Between Donna and Pam, maybe she could pull through without Steven. 

Eric's voice cut through the thought, pulling her back to the conversation.

"As in Canada?" he asked, away from the phone. She hadn't realized that he was there. 

"Hi, Eric. Nice to hear from you."

"Hey, Jackie..." the call fell quiet for a moment before he continued, "Why'd you run away like that? Too scared of getting married to Fez?"

She swallowed, her mouth suddenly feeling dry. There was no guarantee that Eric was the only one. Kitty and Red? Fez and Michael? 

Steven?

Her grip on the phone tightened at the thought. Everything was so complicated already. Steven had helped her through one of the hardest days in her life instead of her boyfriend. Yet, it was only because Fez was setting up one of the sweetest and most romantic things she'd ever experienced. Not to mention how happy his words had made her... but somehow it felt wrong.

It felt wrong being proposed to out of nowhere. It felt wrong that her father wouldn't be there for her wedding day. It felt wrong that she and Fez hadn't even made love yet, which felt wrong in its own way. But most importantly, it felt wrong that Fez was the one on one knee. 

"Is Steven there?" she asked, both surprising herself and Donna and Eric on the other end of the line. Her voice sounded hopeful for some reason.

"Yeah, he's here. Do you want to talk to him?" 

The image of the woman who answered the door flashed through her mind. Jackie squeezed the phone once again and her body tensed. She felt sick.

"No... he has company and I wouldn't want to keep him."

A few seconds of silence passed.

"What?" Steven's voice was so faint that she could barely hear him, but his annoyance was clear.

"I don't think I can go, Jackie. I'm already flying out to Florida in a few days to see my dad," Donna said suddenly, returning to the conversation before Eric had interjected. 

Jackie smiled at the mention of Bob. 

"Good. Tell Mr. Pinciotti I said hi..." she turned to look at the clock, seeing her time was running out. "My group is boarding soon. I've got to go. Please don't tell Fez or anyone else where I am. I just need some time..."

Donna sighed, clearly still upset that Jackie wasn't coming back to Point Place right away. 

"I guess I'll talk to you later, Jackie. Be sure to call me when you get there."

"I'll call you in the morning, okay? I'm not sure how long the flight will be."

"Fine. You’d better do that."

Jackie couldn't help at laugh at how motherly Donna was being. For someone who was so deadset on how a woman's job wasn't solely being a caretaker, she was awfully good at it. 

"Thanks, Donna..." she paused, "And you might've been right about my feelings toward Steven."

Jackie quickly hung up, slamming the phone down on the receiver as her heart pounded. She had no idea why she'd said that. 

Maybe it was the thought of Steven with someone else that bothered her so much. Just like Jackie, he'd had a pretty dry year so she didn't have to think about it much.

Or perhaps it was because of how his hand holding hers could clear her head in an instant. During the time she'd spent alone in silence, her thoughts were clouded and messy. Even if she wanted to speak, she couldn't.

Whenever a sentence or action formed in her head it was pushed to the side by the feeling that someone was slowly crushing her heart. She could barely emote, let alone speak. Somehow, it was easier to talk to Steven than it was to talk to herself. 

As soon as she'd moved his hand down from her arm and into hers she was hit with a certain clarity. Their comfortable silence had given her time to sort through her feelings surrounding her father's death. The sensation that she was slowly drowning disappeared and each breath became much easier to take. 

For some reason, she still didn't cry. There was plenty of sadness swelling up inside of her chest with no way out, but she couldn't muster the energy to grieve in the usual manner. Jackie didn't like feeling helpless and lost, especially after the last few months of 1979. 

Maybe it was because as he held her hand and looked at her with his shocking blue eyes, she felt at peace. They were kind and honest when he took off his aviators, which was probably why he hid behind them. His clear blues were much too true to what he was feeling than he would like them to be. He barely looked at her all year. When he did, he was icy and cold. She'd almost forgotten what it felt like to be received so warmly by them. 

She glanced at her hand. It tingled with warmth—like he was still there, holding it. 

"Excuse me, are you using that?" a woman asked from behind Jackie as she clung to the terminal for support. She turned, a slight blush on her cheeks and her heart pumping wildly. 

"Oh, um... no. Go ahead," she replied with a smile before quickly hurrying away. 

A few minutes later, she boarded the plane, settling into her seat. The seats next to her were thankfully empty, which was perhaps the only lucky thing that had happened that day. 

Her eyes closed and she allowed herself to relax as the pilot took off. Everything was behind her, waiting for her clear-headed return. She still felt guilty for fleeing. Fez didn't deserve to be treated like that after everything he'd done for her. When she spoke to him again, she'd have an explanation and an answer. 

* * *

It was between midnight and morning when Jackie arrived at the airport in Vancouver. Pam waited for her, excited to see her daughter again for the first time in months. Living together again last year helped fix their broken family. They were on much better terms than the last time Pam left Point Place. 

Jackie didn't like being alone. Isolation was one of her worst fears, right up there with clowns. It felt suffocating and lonely. She couldn't even walk through the house without welling up with tears. Everything reminded her of her jailed father and absentee mother. 

When Pam returned, the feeling of emptiness was a little easier to deal with. Most of their possessions had been seized by the bank. The walls were no longer decorated with beautiful art, the silk curtains had been taken, the vases were gone, and most of the rooms were close to empty... but that didn't matter. Even when it was filled and furnished lavishly, the Pinciotti's was more of a home than the large house ever was.

After a few hours of sleep, Jackie woke up in the room Pam had designated as hers. As it was nearly pitch black and she was exhausted, Jackie didn't pay much attention to the decor. Sitting up in the morning light, she found that it was almost an exact replica of her old one. 

It was just as pretty and pink and before, but the walls were mostly barren. There were a few posters and a mirror that matched her old expensive ones, but there were no cutouts of the models and singers that Jackie thought were cute. Her mother even managed to find green and pink flower pillows that were similar to the ones sitting on her bed in her apartment. It was clear a lot of effort was put into restoring it.

Jackie turned her head, finding her favorite poster mounted and framed on the wall over the bed reading, "Love is forever & ever." She smiled softly, knowing it wasn't the same one as before. That one was hanging in a dimly lit corner of Steven's room.

She stood, walking over to the closet with curiosity. There weren't any clothes inside but a few closed moving boxes labeled with her name were stacked in the corner. They must've been the things her mother wanted to take from her room before moving out of the house. Before she could move to examine them closer, the smell of something burning and the sounding of the smoke alarm caught her attention. 

Jackie quickly hurried downstairs to find her mother in the kitchen, coughing and covered in flour next to some very well-done brownies. Smoke tumbled out of the oven as Pam frantically fanned it. 

"Mom? What are you doing?" 

"I was... trying to make brownies for you. I know you're sad about your father so I thought this would cheer you up. I know walnut brownies are your favorite..." Pam said quietly, wiping her dirty hands on her apron. 

Jackie stared at her mother in shock. She'd done something similar for Steven when he was upset about his father. Sometimes the similarities between Pam and herself were unsettling. The thought made her frown. Pam sighed and took off her apron, tossing it onto the messy counter and crossing her arms. 

"What's going on with you?"

"Me? My father died in prison yesterday—my birthday."

"And?" Pam asked, looking at Jackie with a brow raised until her daughter caved. She pulled out a chair at the dining table and sat down, running her hands through her hair.

"Fine. Fez asked me to marry him... and that combined with everything going on yesterday, I bailed. Just like you did. Yet another similarity between Pamela and Jacqueline Burkhart."

Pam pursed her lips and walked over to the table, taking the seat next to Jackie with a frown. 

"Do you know why I moved to Vancouver?"

"No. You hate the cold 'cause you can't show any skin."

Pam laughed quietly, a smile on her face.

"I wanted to get out of Point Place and away from the East Coast. I thought about going to Europe... but I wanted to be close enough for you to reach me at times like this. Just because you need space doesn't mean you're like me, honey. You're better than I ever was or will be. I think a large part of it is because of that Stewart you used to date... or was it Sven? Either way, he's a good influence."

"Stewart? I've never dated anyone named Stewart... You don't mean Steven, do you?"

"Yes, that's the one."

It was Jackie's turn to laugh. No one had ever thought of Steven Hyde as a good influence before. Pam chuckled softly before reaching out to touch her daughter's hand. 

"Jackie, you don't have to worry about being like me. From what I've seen, you're your own person. There's barely a trace of Jack or I in you... personality-wise. You have his eyes and my fabulous bone structure and body, of course."

"And your vanity," Jackie added. Pam smiled again. 

"There's nothing wrong with knowing you're beautiful. Talking about it is only something that confident and strong people can do. People are just jealous, though we should be used to it by now," she paused, taking a breath. "Now, if you're really afraid of being like me, you'll give that foreign boy a call. Tell him how you feel... or something. Kitty didn't really cover this part of a motherly talk before."

Jackie smiled and nodded, looking at Pam with a lighter spirit than before. 

"Thanks, mom... Thanks for actually trying..."

"Of course, sweetie. I'm just sorry that I started this late."

* * *

Jackie sat on her bed holding a pink phone up to her hear, squeezing the flower plush over her chest. She tried calling her apartment but nobody was there. The only other place he'd be so early is the Forman's. She prayed that Donna or Fez would be the one to answer. 

"Hello?" Kitty answered, chipper as always. 

"Hi, Mrs. Forman... It's Jackie. Is Fez there?"

"Yes, he's here. Everyone's here but you, actually."

Jackie winced, thinking for a moment. 

"Could you... ask him to come up here and talk to me? But don't say it's me... I don't think he'll come."

Kitty smiled sadly. Steven stayed quiet about Jackie's father to everyone... but Kitty. She'd been going on about how irresponsible it was for Jackie to just run away without any warning as she cleaned the kitchen the night before. Red, Donna, and Forman had moved to the living room and Hyde stayed behind to eat his dinner. His guest left as soon as they were done, which was to be expected.

_"It wasn't her fault. A lot happened today."_

_"She was proposed to, Steven. It's all she'd ever wanted, isn't it? I've been hearing Fez rehearse for days. He knows how to make a woman feel special, you know. He and Laurie never would've worked out, even if they wanted to try. I expected more from Jackie."_

_"Easy, Mrs. Forman."_

_"’Easy?’ That poor boy must be as crushed as Donna was when Eric abandoned her. I love my baby boy but he makes some really stupid mistakes. Like going to Africa, for godsakes! I knew Jackie could be selfish, but..."  
_

_Steven sighed in his seat, rolling his head back before looking at Kitty again, who was frantically cleaning the stove with a wet towel._

_"Don't think too little of her, okay? Her dad died today. She got the call a little while_ _before Fez popped the question. She was probably just upset... in shock."_

_Kitty put the towel down and looked at him in surprise._

_"What? Jack's dead? Why didn't she just say so? Everything would be forgiven in a heartbeat."_

_He took a sip of soda, the second bottle that night._

_"Jackie's not that kind of person. She doesn't like excuses much. Everyone's actions are their own, no matter what the motive was."_

_Kitty looked at him suspiciously for a moment._

_"You two have been awfully close these past few days."_

_He looked up at her, almost angry. Almost. Steven was rarely angry with her. Kitty was always one of the few things in the world he didn't hate._

_"What's that supposed to mean, Mrs. Forman?"_

_"Nothing, nothing... I'm just wondering why it is you know more about why Jackie left than anyone else."_

_Steven didn't like talking about himself or others much. He barely talked at all unless it was to insult someone or go on about some government conspiracy theory. When the topic was Jackie, however, Kitty noticed things were different. With the exception of a few odd months, he was always quick to her defense. Talking about her was touchy but he did it often enough to be considered normal in her mind._

_"I found her in here. She was so quiet and still I almost missed her. It was unnerving since she likes talking so much. I only know about her dad is 'cause her boyfriend wasn't there for her when she needed him," he paused, taking another swig before mumbling something under his breath, though Kitty could clearly hear it. "Now my head's all jumbled up and I'm pissed off."_

_Kitty looked at him for a moment, a smile appearing on her face. She lifted up her hand, creating a finger gun._

_"Bamg," she said quietly, mimicking gunfire. looked at her, furrowing his brow._

_"Mrs. Forman?"_

_"Yes, Steven?"_

_"What was that?"_

_"Nothing. Just keeping an old promise."_

"Mrs. Forman?" Jackie asked, pulling Kitty from the memory.

"Oh! Yes, dear?"

"Fez?"

"Hm? Right! I'll go get him."

She left the phone on the counter and hurried to the basement. Everyone was sitting around the TV, watching whatever was on. 

"Fez, sweetie, you have a call."

Fez looked up from the lawn chair, skepticism in his eyes. 

"Is this a prank? Eric, did you get Ms. Kitty to do something to the phone? I'm not in the mood."

"No, dear. It's just a call, I promise."

"Who is it?" Donna asked, still waiting on a call of her own from Jackie. 

"They didn't say. Just that it was important."

Fez sighed and stood up, hurrying up the stairs. Donna, Eric, and Kelso exchanged glances as they realized there was only one person who would call Fez. They dove for the phone, silently arguing over who got to listen in as Hyde watched in amusement. 

Eric grabbed the handset first before Kelso lunged over Donna to reach it. She grabbed them both by the ears, pulling and pinching until they both let go and it landed on her lap. She quickly picked it up and pressed it to her ear.

"Hello?" 

"Fezzie..."

"Jacqueline."

Donna let out a slight gasp. Nobody called Jackie by her full first name, even when they were upset. It felt unnatural. Eric and Kelso tried to listen in getting as close to the phone as they could without Donna pushing them away.

Jackie let out a soft sigh. 

"I'm sorry for leaving. It doesn't matter why, but it's nobody's fault but mine."

"I know," he replied flatly. 

"Right... Fez, I think we both know why you proposed."

"And why was that?"

"Because you're afraid that this isn't what you wanted. The two of us together... we're not as good as we both thought. I mean, you're the perfect guy. You're sweet, a good listener, sexy, and an amazing kisser."

"All of these things are true, yes," he agreed. Jackie laughed softly, followed by Fez. 

"But you don't actually want to marry me, do you?" she asked. He thought for a moment. 

"No. I was married once. It was hellish."

"That's 'cause you were married to Laurie, a real-live she-beast."

Eric and Donna snickered quietly. Jackie took in a shaky breath.

"Do you even want to date me, Fez? I know about your needs, but you haven't complained to me once about them. I thought I was the only one who wasn't ready... but..."

"You're right. I've been feeling locked down lately. I was a little relieved when you ran away from me like I was a large rat or cockroach... or an out of season shoe. Fez needs to be free."

Jackie laughed again, this time much louder. It was the second time someone felt relieved when she rejected their proposal, but she didn't mind. Both times she felt the same.

"Friends?" she asked hopefully.

"Of course. I'm not like the last bozo you dated," he replied. 

Donna, Kelso, and Eric looked at Hyde, large, mischievous grins on their faces. 

"I don’t know... You _did_ dye my hair green."

"He cheated on you and then married a beautiful stripper. I win."

She let out another laugh before sighing in relief.

"I do love you, Fez... but in a different way than I thought."

"I feel the same..." he paused before changing direction, "So are you coming home now? I don't know where you are."

"I'm with my mom. I'm going to stay here for a little while... recover and all. Sadie gave me some time off."

"Unpaid?"

"Naturally," Jackie said, chuckling quietly with a sniff. Her voice didn't express it, but she'd been crying. 

"I'll call the apartment later... okay? I want to talk to you some more. I don't think we've been able to talk like this since we started dating," she added. Fez chuckled slightly. 

"Who knew dating my goddess would end up being so awkward? I wish I could go back in time and save myself years of pining."

Jackie laughed yet again. Fez was always good at making her laugh. Suddenly, she stopped and sighed in annoyance. 

"Michael, I know you're listening. I can hear you breathing," she announced. 

Donna and Eric looked at Kelso angrily and he stared at the phone in surprise. 

"How did you do that?!"

"Whenever you try to be quiet, you end up breathing out of your mouth... much louder than necessary. It's rude to eavesdrop."

"Wha- Eric and Donna are listening in, too!"

They both swatted him in the arm with the back of their hands. Jackie let out an annoyed sigh. 

"That's it! I'm hanging up. Bye, Fezzie. I'll bring you back some maple candy, okay? Donna, I'll call you later."

There was a click and the flat dial tone rang from the receiver. Eric and Kelso looked at each other. 

"I want some maple candy, too..." Kelso whined. Eric sighed and pat his shoulder in comfort. 

* * *

Jackie let out a shaky breath and wiped her eyes, thankful that the air had been cleared between her and Fez. It was a wild guess that he felt the same way she did, but apparently not insane. They were perfect on paper... but in reality, they lacked the spark that drove most relationships forward. Fez tried to compensate by proposing, hoping to give their relationship a shove in the right direction. It only made the truth more obvious.

Though her relief was freeing, she still felt a weight on her chest. Just because she and Fez worked out their issues didn't mean everything would be okay. There was still the problem of her conflicting feelings for Steven. He was still infuriatingly complex, just like her thoughts about him.

He'd been a dickish nightmare the past year. He always made jokes at her expense, tortured her ruthlessly by ridiculing the best and most real relationship she'd ever been in, and practically ripped her heart out every single day for months. 

When she thought about it, she should hate him... a lot... but the chance of that happening was the same as a snowball's in hell. The worst part about the whole situation was she couldn't just _stop_ caring. Every single time he'd snapped at her she'd react, though her responses were much more contained these days. 

With all he'd put her through, what with his insecurities and unwillingness to speak about them, commitment issues, and his general indifference toward their relationship, she couldn't believe she still cared. If Michael or Fez had pulled half the crap Steven had—and Michael was close—she would've shut them out. They would've been gone, discarded from her life in an instant, never to be looked back upon. 

Steven was different. Even after everything, he gave her butterflies that made her feel like she was a child experiencing her first crush. It was ridiculous that she felt that way, that he could be forgiven and redeemed for any wrong he'd done. At some point before New Years, she questioned if their relationship was good for her if he just kept hurting her. It was. 

He challenged her and pushed her to think outside of her comfort zone. He made her more compassionate, empathetic, and understanding. When she was with him, she was the happiest she'd ever been, despite the rollercoaster the relationship was. It was only when she worried that she was the only one who wanted their relationship and love to last forever that she left. After that, everything went to shit.

Pam knocked on the door before opening it, pulling Jackie from her increasingly complicated thoughts.

"Sweetie, if you keep that expression on your face you'll get wrinkles."

Jackie looked up at her mother in surprise. 

"What expression was I making?"

"Granny face. The one you had when my mother was moved into the home and away from you. I haven't seen that look since you were three years old. What's going on?"

Truthfully, Jackie didn't realize she'd been frowning at all. 

"Fez and I just broke up."

Pam tilted her head to the side slightly, crossing her arms.

"What else?"

"Nothing else. It's just the cherry on top of this crappy week."

"Sweetie, I know something's going on. I may not be mother-of-the-year but I at least can guess when something’s bothering you. That's the expression I make when I'm reflecting."

"You reflect? You do know that doesn't imply your reflection in a mirror, right?"

Pam sighed softly and walked into the room, sitting at the foot of Jackie's bed. 

"Jackie, I went to college. I have a business degree. I know what reflecting is... and I've been doing it a lot lately. Just like you don't want to be like me, I didn't want to be like my mother. It wasn't until her later years and you were born that we started to get close again. I don't want that to happen to us... So please, tell me what's wrong."

Jackie was honestly in awe of her mother's genuine curiosity about her life. Sure, they'd gotten closer ever since they moved out of the Pinciotti's, but that didn't mean their relationship had been fixed. Her mother was still as vain as ever when they were in Point Place. The only real difference was that she was within reach. 

"Steven... It's Steven. The one you said was a good influence. We've been able to be around each other and alone without wanting to slice the other's throat open lately. He was the one who was there for me when Daddy died... just like when he was jailed and when I went to visit him... It has me thinking about the past. It's silly."

"Jacquline Beulah Burkhart, you shut your mouth this instant."

The second time that someone called her by her full first name that day was just as strange as before. This time, it was accompanied by the rest. Her mother had taken to calling her sweetie or honeybun. Before it was darling, dear, or Jackie.

"Mom, you're the one who wanted to talk about this."

"I'm sorry... too much? " Pam asked cautiously, a slight blush on her cheeks. "I'm still new to this..."

Jackie laughed quietly at how strangely her mother was acting. Pam really was trying to change, showing her daughter the sides of her that were less than perfect. It made Jackie respect her a little more.

"What I meant was... I don't think it's silly., honeybun. If you just broke up with your boyfriend and possible fiance for him, maybe you should consider talking to him about it... you know, find out if he feels the same way," she paused and a smile formed on her lips, "Of course, if it was me, he wouldn't really have a choice. Everyone wants me."

Pam glanced at her daughter, taking in her unamused face. 

"You were doing well until the end, but I get your point. Fez and I only broke up because we didn't have a fire or passion or anything like it in our relationship. No other reason."

"And why is that all-important passion not there, sweetie? Why is it that you don't feel attracted to him in the way that you originally thought."

"No reason. There just wasn't any chemistry."

"Why?"

"Mom, you can stop now. I know you're trying to be a good parent and all, but it's getting annoying. I appreciate it, but it's enough. There's no other reason. There wasn't any desire, and that's the end of it," Jackie argued, getting slightly worked up.

"Why?"

"Seriously, stop. It's not important'

"Jackie, tell me why you and Fez didn't work out."

"No. It doesn't matter. It's over and I don't care."

"But _why_?" Pam repeated for the final time, this time with much more emphasis and power in her voice. "Why don't you care, Jackie? You've been in a relationship with the foreign boy for months and haven't put out. You didn't even try to find the passion. Tell me why."

"Drop it."

"No. Tell me why."

"Enough, mom. Pestering me isn't going to change my answer," she persisted, anger much more apparent in her tone than before.

"Why? I'll stop when you tell me."

"Pamela, it doesn't matter! Stop!"

"Jacqueline, tell me!"

"Because I'm still in love with Steven!" Jackie yelled. She immediately covered her mouth. Her body felt lighter somehow. As she'd said it, it was like every single cell in her body had spoken at the once and lifted a weight off her chest.

As Jackie reeled from the revelation, Pam smiled slyly. It was rather obvious with how much her daughter ranted about him over the phone. Jackie would go on in excruciating detail about what he'd been wearing, followed by an insult of some kind, and then to complain about everything he'd said to her that week, word for word.

"Good. That's all I needed to hear. I suggest you call that redheaded girl and talk about it some more. I'll get out of your hair," she suggested, then brushed herself off before walking toward the door. 

"Mom?" Jackie called. Pam turned around, looking at her daughter curiously. Jackie offered a small smile. "Thank you."

"Anytime, sweetie."

As Pam closed the door, Jackie turned to her purse sitting on top of the white desk. She stood and walked over, lifting the book out, followed by the Zeplin tee. She then walked back to the bed and sighed softly, hugging it to her chest like she would one of her stuffed animals and sighing softly. 

She knew that she had feelings for him but it hadn't occurred to her that they were residual from before. The idea that she was in love with him was absolutely ridiculous... but that didn't make it any less true. Just all the more terrifying. It wasn't because she and Fez didn't have chemistry that they'd broken up. It was because of Steven. 

And as she sat on her pink bed in her pink room clutching the black Led Zeplin t-shirt, there was only one thought that came to mind:

"I'm still in love with him... How the hell did this happen?"


	6. The Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackie gets hurt and Hyde has a choice to make.

Hyde sat in the basement, his pinky tapping against his arm. Forman, Kelso, and Fez sat around him in the circle, laughing and acting like they usually did in their sacred space. Fez was eating a crap-ton of the maple candy Jackie mailed over. It'd gotten there this morning. She'd been gone for days with no signs of return. 

A few hours after her conversation with Fez, she called for Donna. Hyde was the one who picked up. She'd immediately asked for advice on something then an update on everyone, automatically thinking it was Donna. Somehow, it was nice to hear her voice. He would've thought that after almost five years of hearing it practically nonstop, the break would be nice. Yet, when he answered, she hung up and hadn't called the house since.

Forman decided to stick around for a little while longer. Surprisingly, he missed Point Place. He missed his friends, parents, and the Vista Cruiser. He missed the Water Tower with the pot leaf, the 'Michael+Jackie,' and even what had become the rite of passage of falling off of it. Most of all, he missed Donna. It's all he would talk about all the time. It had gotten to the point of Hyde missing the 8,000 miles of distance between him and Eric's whining about how he'd messed up.

"Guys, look! My hand is on fire!" Kelso exclaimed from the couch, his fingers wiggling in front of his face. Forman and Fez moved over, fascinated by the movement... though similar things had happened in the circle before.

"Woah... How are you doing that?" Forman asked. He and Fez looked full of wonder and amazement. It was clear to see that Hyde broke out the good stuff.

"I dunno, man! It's freakin' me out! How do I stop?"

Hyde sighed, leaning forward in his chair and grabbing Kelso's fingers, stopping them from moving. As he settled back into his seat his pinky began to tap against his crossed arm again. It'd been a while since Jackie called. Four days, to be exact. No one heard a word from her since she mailed the candy over.

He glanced up at Fez, who was high and on a sugar rush at once. Kelso and Forman were now trying to fit as many pieces as they could into Fez's mouth. Drool spilled out from his lips as they laughed.

Idiots. He wanted to be acting just as stupid as them more than anything at that moment.

Was it strange he was worried about her when nobody else was? No. People seemed to think that Jackie could handle herself just because she has the combined menace of an angry shark, wolf, and goose—a pissed off goose can be scary as hell. 

What they didn't seem to notice was that Jackie could be a total clutz. Outwardly, she was coordinated and organized... but sometimes, she would knock something over or trip unexpectedly. When people were around she usually handled herself well, able to play off her mistakes as if they were intentional. 

Hyde didn't know exactly where she was. Donna, Forman, and Fez keeping it between them. All he knew was she was somewhere in Canada with her mom. She'd never gone into specifics about where Pam moved... or maybe she did and he just didn't pay attention. That'd been happening a lot more than usual the past year.

"Twenty?! How the hell are you doing this?!" Kelso exclaimed, tossing another empty box of maple candy onto the couch. Jackie had sent over thirty boxes, each filled with sixteen pieces. She probably felt bad about how she left. Hyde looked up, finding Forman and Fez laughing, the latter's laughter being more garbled with the candy shoved into his mouth.

It wasn't like Hyde to be so distracted during the circle... Okay, it was, but not like this. At this point, he'd usually be pouring various liquids into Fez's mouth to try and melt the candy together or talking about the car that runs on water. Instead, he was thinking about Jackie. What's worse was he was _worried_ about her; Fez's girlfriend.

He didn't know they'd ended things. They seemed to be getting along fine with Fez talking about his nearly hourly conversations with her before she practically vanished. Fez didn't take it too hard when they broke up... in fact, he didn't take it hard at all. He didn't mind all that much, probably throwing Hyde off. Everyone else thought he knew, didn't feel obligated to do anything about it, or just didn't care. 

He sighed and stood up. It wasn't working. Whatever was going on in his head was killing his high. He silently retreated to his room, leaving Kelso, Forman, and Fez behind as Fez began to try and chew the large wad of candy in his mouth. He'd been so quiet that they barely noticed he was gone. For a while, they thought he was a magician and poofed out of existence. 

Hours had passed since Hyde left the circle. When he went back out into the basement, Fez and Kelso were gone and Forman was sleeping on the couch. Hyde needed some water, pulling him from his book.

He'd started reading when he and Jackie got back together... the first time. By then he'd already graduated. Jackie'd made him a ten-page list of 'literary classics' she thought he'd like. She wasn't wrong, with the exclusion of a few of her Nancy Drew books. Of course, he was reluctant to start reading them. He'd never considered himself someone who would sit down and read a two hundred page book. He wasn't Forman, for godsakes.

He still couldn't stand the Hobbit or any of the other nerd books Forman went on about. Any chance he had of liking them was killed by Forman's neverending, "and then the dragon woke up and it..." he always tuned out the rest. It was almost as bad as when he talked about Star Wars, a movie Hyde liked the first time he saw it but now couldn't stand with Forman's neverending references and quotes. 

Now The Telltale Heart, Masque of the Red Death, Othello, Hamlet, and Julius Caesar... those were much more his style. He didn't give a crap about moral themes or shit like that, but merciless betrayal and violent deaths were definitely something he wouldn't mind discussing. Maybe if they did in class, he actually would've paid more attention. 

He liked Shakespeare and Poe. Those guys were messed up. He still didn't quite understand why Jackie did, too. Most of their work seemed a little gloomy and cruel for the princess of unicorns, stuffed animals, rainbows, and sunshine. 

Then again, Jackie was a lot darker than most people thought. Underneath all the pink and perfection, there was a lot of anger. He'd seen it first-hand many times, the first being when she went after Laurie like an MMA fighter and gave her a black eye the size of a softball. It was one of the hottest and most badass things he'd ever seen.

As Hyde walked back down the stairs, the phone rang. Forman stirred in his sleep, sprawling out over the couch. Hyde sighed and answered the phone. Kitty and Red had gone to the movies, Kitty dragging him along for some quality time.

"Hello?" Donna asked.

"Hey," he replied, leaning against the back of the couch and setting down his glass.

"Hyde? Is anyone else there? Mr. or Mrs. Forman, maybe?"

"Geez. Not exactly a warm reception on your part."

She laughed before taking in an awkward breath.

"Seriously, are Kitty and Red there?"

"No. They went out for a date. Why?"

"No reason... Just have them call me later."

Hyde frowned, crossing his arm.

"The hell's goin' on, Donna?"

She sighed softly on the other line.

"Listen... It's about Jackie, so just tell them to call me."

"Jackie?"

"Yes, Jackie. Her mom just called me, hoping I was still in Point Place. I'm not, so I need to talk to the Forman's."

"Like I said, they're not here. Tell me what happened."

Donna paused for a moment, weighing her options.

"Promise not to get upset? Angry, worried, or otherwise?"

"Why would I?"

"Jackie got hurt," she took another pause and Hyde stood up straight, the Zen draining out of his body at once. "Nothing life-threatening... Just a few bruised ribs, shoulder, and hip, two hairline fractures on her forearm, and a minor concussion."

"Wait, what? How the hell is that minor?" he asked a little bit too loudly. Eric shot up, looking around in a daze before plopping back down onto the couch and sleeping.

"I never said minor... just not life-threatening. She slipped on a patch of ice on her mom's driveway. Apparently, she kept going on about wanting to go home so Pam needs someone to go and pick Jackie up at the airport. She can't drive herself back."

"Is she crazy? She can't let Jackie go on an international flight by herself when she's not in full possession of her marbles. Pam should fly back with Jackie and take care of her."

Donna laughed softly on the other line. 

"Who would've thought that Jackie Burkhart would have you so worried? Then again, you've always cared about people. She told me it's why she loves you so much."

Hyde didn't catch Donna's use of the present tense. Instead, he'd immediately gotten defensive.

"I don't care that much."

"We both know that's not true. Do you wanna know what I think? I think that you care about Jackie even more than you care about most people. I think she makes you vulnerable and you got scared, so you kept on looking for a way out. Whenever you felt jealous or insecure, you bailed because you thought she didn't care about you as much as you did for her. And you know what else? I think you're going to call me back to get her address and fly up to Canada to bring her back yourself because we both know that Pam won't."

Before Hyde could reply, Donna slammed the phone down. Truthfully, she'd paraphrased most of those words from Jackie herself after she'd calmed down about the whole Samantha situation. Jackie had been blaming the faults of their relationship on herself. It was the most remorseful that Donna had ever seen her and she'd been pissed at Hyde for a while because of it. 

Donna would've usually tried console Jackie more than she did, but she was going through things of her own didn't think it was that important. She'd thought of their relationship as the lesser one compared to hers with Eric at the time. Now, with her newfound sense of clarity, she understood how big that relationship was for both of them. 

Hyde had never been in love with anyone before. The thought seemed to make him sick to his stomach. Long term relationships were pretty much impossible. He usually got bored within the first week and called it off, or vice versa. When Donna found out they'd been in a casual relationship for over a month she dismissed the possibility of them having feelings for each other. Somehow, Jackie had gotten him to open up. He wanted their relationship to last, which was something Donna had never seen before.

Jackie, on the other hand, was forefront with her feelings about almost everything. The second she knew she loved someone, she told them. There was something about her that made men feel insecure, resulting in them cheating on her, dumping her, or ridiculing her. Keslo did it, Fez did it, and Hyde had done those things too... but he was the only one who felt bad about it. That was new. He was also the only one she'd ever hurt one of her precious stuffed animals or thrown out clothes for. He made her want to be a better, more sincere person. 

One of Donna's greatest regrets was not being able to help them work out their situation more thoroughly. She'd been mostly caught up with her own issues, her own problems, and enforcing her own ideals that Jackie and Hyde never got their feelings out into the open. Part of her blamed herself for one of the best relationships in their friend group go to crap. Now, it was too late. They had to work out their feelings on their own... mainly because they wouldn't listen to her anymore.

Hyde looked at the phone in surprise as the dial tone rang. Donna had never really been angry at him before. When he kissed her, the worst he'd gotten was a slap and a mild scolding. When he cheated on Jackie, he got a piece of advice. Even when they thought he'd married a stripper, the most he'd gotten was a stern talking to. A few seconds earlier she sounded genuinely frustrated. Like she was talking to a three-year-old with no comprehension of the point she was trying to get across. 

He might as well have been. Flying up to Canada? No. That's Fez's job... but Donna had probably already called Fez and Kelso about it. He wasn't even meant to know about the situation. Hyde was obviously her last choice, Forman being right above him on her list.

"Donna... Not there..." Forman mumbled with a slight giggle, making Hyde turn to look at him. 

After an awkward moment, he nodded and picked up his glass, walking back to his room. The sun had already set. It was pretty late. The Forman's were probably going out for dinner as well, so he'd just have to find some food later if he got hungry. Sleep didn't sound so bad. 

* * *

Of course that night he'd have a dream about Jackie, not that it was an oddity. Ever since the day he saw her in the bar he'd been having dreams about her. Naturally, some were dirty but most of them were just memories. Like this one. It was from the day the group found out that the little sophomore varsity cheerleader, Jackie Burkhart, was the hot new girlfriend Kelso was so proud of scoring.

Lunch was immediately after the end of varsity cheer practices for the first few weeks of school, until football tryouts were over. Cheer tryouts had been held over summer so the incoming freshman wouldn't associate with any losers if they made the squad. So, during those weeks, everyone got to see the beautiful Point Place cheer team strut around in their skirts and tights during lunch. It was pretty much the best three and a half weeks of almost every high school boy's life. 

One day, about two weeks in, Jackie split from the group and walked over to their corner table with a textbook, paper, and pencil in her hand. She had a somewhat exhausted look on her face, though it clearly wasn't because of practice. There wasn't a bead of sweat on her forehead. 

"Michael, I spoke to your math teacher. She said that if you do your assignment before the end of the day she won't take away any credit," she announced, not bothering to greet the rest of the group as she gently set the textbook down. He groaned and rolled his head back, clearly unenthusiastic. 

"Hey, Jackie. What are you doing here? I thought you and the other cheerleaders would go straight for the center table, like always," Donna noted, glancing at the other girls. 

"I just needed to talk to Michael for a moment."

"So you could what? Boss him around? Michael Kelso doesn't do his homework. It's a known fact," Eric stated. Jackie turned to him and flashed him a smile. 

"I don't think we've met. Who are you?"

"Eric Forman. We've known each other for a while, Jackie."

She seemed confused. 

"I don't think so," she replied flatly, turning back to Kelso with a pleading smile. "Michael, please finish your homework during your free period. The faster you do it, the more time you'll have to goof off and the happier I'll be."

He seemed seriously compelled to do her bidding. It was like she was hypnotizing him with her short skirt and the ribbons in her hair. 

"Calm down, Bubble Queen," Hyde spoke up, slouched in his seat with his arms crossed. "I don't think his girlfriend would like you pulling his strings like that. Kelso's a dog so he'll probably go at it with you without regrets."

"I _am_ his girlfriend," she stated, not even batting an eye at his comment as she faced Hyde. She looked him over, then looked back at Kelso, this time with a much more charming smile. "Homework, please."

He let out an excited giggle and squirmed in his seat as he nodded. That uniform really did something to him, or maybe it was her.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'll do it, Jackie!" he exclaimed, flipping open the textbook and beginning to fill in the answers. Surprisingly, they were correct. 

She seemed to check his work. As soon as he finished the second question, she smiled and bent down, placing a kiss on his cheek before standing back up. That seemed to motivate him even further. She turned to the group, a proud smile on her face.

Slowly, she reached over and plucked Hyde's apple off of the tray. As she did, they made eye contact. She seemed playful... like she was having a good time messing with him and the others as she breathed on it, rubbed it on her arm to clean it, then walked away. After she'd taken a few bites, she tossed it over her shoulder. It bounced off of the wall and into the trashcan. 

Everyone but Kelso followed the apple through the air, watching it land in the bin. They immediately turned back to look at Jackie, who'd taken a seat at the cheerleader's table with a smile. She didn't seem to care about whether she'd made it or not. She simply sat down, crossed her legs, and began talking to the other girls like nothing had happened. 

Another memory played. It was the day after prom. Hyde sat on the couch by himself, not particularly interested in anything that was on TV. Jackie hurried in. It was raining outside. The wind blew, making it difficult to close the door. She let out an excited and victorious laugh as she finally managed to shut it.

Quickly, she shed her coat and sat down next to him with a lilac gift bag in her hand. She looked at him excitedly, waiting for him to ask her what was inside. After a few minutes of silence, he sighed and turned to her. 

"Fine. What's in it?"

"It's for you!" she exclaimed happily. 

It was strange for her to be so chipper, even for her. Her hair and clothes were wet, her makeup was starting to smudge, and her boyfriend was nowhere to be found. Usually, she'd be complaining. 

"Why?"

She didn't answer but only nodded toward the bag enthusiastically. He sighed again, reaching toward it and pulling out the white wrapping paper. Somehow, the bag was the only thing she'd brought in that wasn't wet. Inside was a copy of their prom picture together neatly placed in a silver frame. He glanced at her in confusion, wondering why she was so happy. 

"What's the big deal?"

She smiled again and moved closer so she was leaning against him as she pointed at his face in the photo. 

"You're smiling."

He looked at it immediately. 

"I'm not," he denied. It was true, too. He looked genuinely indifferent, as always.

"Yes, you are. If you look closely enough, that's a little Steven Hyde grin. I'm counting it as a smile."

"Quiet."

"No! Admit it, Steven Hyde. I'm growing on you."

"Yeah. Like a 94 pound tumor. And would you stop saying my full name? It's weird."

"It's not weird. What's weird is that Steven Hyde is smiling in a photograph with me. Not because I tripped or because he'd insulted me, but because we're friends. And he did a good thing because he's a good person."

He moved his shoulder to shove Jackie off and placed the frame back into the bag, handing it to her. 

"Don't want it."

She smiled and gently lifted the bag out of his hands, nodding as she did. She seemed to expect it. Before she moved to stand up, she swiftly gave him a peck on the cheek. It was so quick and unexpected that he didn't have time to swat her away. She immediately stood up and put her coat back on, turning back at him with a smile. 

"You _are_ a good friend, Steven. Thank you."

After that, she left, pulling the door closed behind her. This time, the wind didn't stop her. It was still raining, but she probably had a ride waiting outside. The only thing she'd gone in there for was to give him a framed photograph of the two of them together. 

* * *

Hyde woke up the next morning feeling like he got hit by a truck. It was a thousand times worse than any hangover he'd ever had. He walked over to a drawer in the corner where Jackie's poster hung and opened it, quickly rummaging through it. He pulled out a silver frame and placed it on top of his dresser so it was standing, displaying the picture of Jackie and him at the prom. That dream made him want to see it again. When she redecorated, she'd snuck it back inside, along with various pictures of her.

He stumbled out of his room, yawning as he did. Forman, Kitty, and Red were already eating when he entered the kitchen. Kitty stopped when she heard him come up. 

"Steven, Donna called this morning. There's a sticky note with Jackie's mom's address in Vancouver on the table if you want it. She was sure you would."

He looked over to the counter and sighed, walking back downstairs. A few minutes later, he reemerged fully dressed with a small duffel bag. 

"Forman. Let's go," he said, nearly in defeat.

"What? Go where?" Forman asked with a mouthful of scrambled eggs. 

"The airport," Hyde replied, folding the sticky note and putting it in his jacket pocket. Kitty clapped and laughed, clearly excited that Hyde was going to go and bring Jackie back himself. She was one of the few that was unaware he didn't know Jackie's single status. 

"It's too early," Forman whined. Kitty looked at Red with pleading eyes, making him sigh softly. He folded his newspaper and set it on the table. 

"Get off your lazy Africa-loving ass and leave before I shove my foot up it," he grumbled. Hyde smirked and walked out toward the Vista Cruiser, piling into the passenger's seat and crossing his arms. Forman joined him a few minutes later. They drove in silence for a while before Forman began talking.

"So... Goin' after Jackie, huh?" 

"No, but someone's gotta take care of her. Sometimes, I really hate it when Donna's right."

Forman laughed under his breath. 

"I know... I think we all do."

They fell back into silence. 

"You sure you're not going for Jackie? Donna and I were talking and we-"

"I'm not. I'm just being a friend."

Eric glanced at him from the driver's seat. 

"But you're never 'just being a friend' with her."

Hyde sighed softly and turned to look out the window. 

"Whatever."

They dropped the subject and began to talk more casually like they used to. An old-fashioned pointless conversation between close friends. By the time they'd reached the airport, they were just listening to some old Zeplin songs. Forman tried to put on Styx, but every time he was shot down. It was a good ride... and a great way to forget about the complex feelings Hyde had for Jackie that were really starting to piss him off. 

* * *

Jackie woke up in her bed, pain shooting through her body. She'd been bringing in groceries with Pam when she slipped on a thick patch of ice. Usually, Jackie was much more aware of her surroundings to try and avoid one of her more clumsy moments, but she'd been distracted thinking about Steven. Again. What would she say when she got back? 

_"Hi, Steven! I know we hurt each other and you hate talking about emotions, but I also know you hate it when people aren't being straightforward. I love you and think we should_ _be together! We should probably talk about the possibility of our relationship and how you feel, which is another thing you hate! Now, let's make out, kay?"_

Yeah, not going to happen. He'd probably slam the door on her and walk away. Maybe another girl would be over again... or worse, the same one. The thought made the color drain from Jackie's face. She didn't notice the large frozen-over puddle that her mother had been warning her about and slid across it. She quickly lost her balance and fell. Jackie landed on her side, her forearm moving to try and protect her head. Overall, the damage was a lot less extensive than it could've been. 

The doctor had given her some painkillers that kept her brain scrambled for the past few days. She kept on rambling about wanting to go back to Point Place for her "scruffy Puddin' Pop." 

Apparently, Pam had taken initiative and called Donna, hoping she could bring Jackie back. She barely remembered the day before when she was practically screaming at Donna to not tell Steven she'd gotten hurt because he'd worry as Pam tried to explain the situation. Yet, she distinctly recalled her mother giving her the phone so she could list the many reasons she was in love with Steven. It was embarrassing to think about.

She sat up, flinching and tugging at her side. Her forearm was in a brace for the two fractures. She quickly reached for the sling to put her arm into. Her shoulder was killing her. 

Jackie held in a loud groan of pain as she got to her feet, walking over to the mirror. There was a small scratch on her forehead but it wasn't something that would scar. The doctors said she's gotten lucky. Usually, if someone fell as hard as she did they'd have to go into surgery. Thankfully, the hospital bill wasn't too extensive. They tried to keep her overnight but she insisted on going back home. 

As she walked down the stairs, she smelled coffee and heard the quiet sounds of the television. That was strange. Her mother had a sale that morning and left early. 

"C'mon, man. It's obviously 'Rolling Stones.' Go buy a damn radio," she heard a familiar voice grumble as Wheel of Fortune played quietly. A soft blush came to her cheeks for no apparent reason and she turned the corner. 

"Steven?" she asked quietly. He shot up, turning around almost nervously. There was a small smile on his face. 

"Good, you're up. You looked pretty dead in there," he said quietly. She looked at him in confusion, walking over to the couch.

"Why... Why are you here?"

"Your mom called Donna. She told me about your accident and I came to bring you back to Point Place. Seemed that everyone else was busy..."

Jackie nodded cautiously before letting out a shaky breath. The pain in her side made her wince. Steven moved to catch her if she fell, bringing him closer. Apparently, she'd been swaying. 

"I'm okay, Steven..." she assured, gently pushing his arm away from her as it hovered in front of her torso. 

"You've had a pretty shitty week, huh?

She laughed, only to wince again. 

"You have no idea."

"I've got part of one," he mumbled, then inhaled sharply and looked at her. His shades came off and he tucked them into his shirt. Maybe it was the pain killers... but his eyes were bluer than usual. "So... you and Fez seem to be doing alright."

"Yeah... We're gonna be okay."

He looked at her and frowned, suddenly going off on a tangent.

"I dunno. It doesn't take a genius to see that your relationship isn't heading toward marriage."

Her head tilted slightly. That bothered her for some reason, even if it was true.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Come on, Jackie. You know what I mean."

"I don't think I do." Her voice became sharp. 

"You two acted like you were second cousins and kissed like you were picked for spin the bottle. After a while, it got awkward to look at."

Her frown grew.

"Steven, Fez is a fantastic kisser."

He didn't want to hear that... at all. 

"Just 'cause he knows how to work his tongue after eating all of that candy doesn't mean you two are good for each other."

"Fez and I may no longer be together," she began. Hyde looked at her in surprise as she continued, "but that doesn't mean he-"

Before she could finish, he gently grabbed her waist and kissed her. All of the lust and love he felt for her flooded his mind, taking control as soon as she'd said she and Fez weren't an item anymore. The two of them staggered back as her good arm wrapped around his neck. They'd moved back several feet so she was pressed onto the kitchen counter, desperately pulling at the back of his shirt and hair. Not to drive him away, but to bring him closer. 

As they parted, he could hear his heartbeat... and maybe hers too. A string of saliva hung between them, which she quickly swept away. One of his hands leaned against the counter as the other rested on her unbruised hip. 

"That's how you kiss someone," he said quietly in between heavy breaths, pressing his forehead to hers.

Her knees nearly gave out on her as he spoke so close to her. She hadn't been kissed like that in a year. Alarms went off in her brain and fireworks exploded in her stomach. She could barely stand, let alone think straight. Thankfully, the pain was there to pull her back from the cusp of losing her mind completely. They'd just been arguing over something she didn't really care about, then he kissed her. Damn, did he kiss her.

"I... Um..." she let out a soft chuckle as she continued to grab his shirt for support. "Wow..."

He smiled, kissing her again for a much shorter period of time before pulling back. 

"I know. I'm going crazy right now, trying to hold myself back."

She gulped loudly, quickly pecking his lips with a smile of her own. 

"I feel really stupid for falling... but if it got you to do that, then I should probably be thankful."

"No... I've been wanting to do that for a while. You just had a boyfriend."

Her smile faded as her grip on reality returned. The full force of her pain hit her at once—not physical, but emotional. A few stray tears ran down her cheek. She cursed herself under her breath. 

"Woah, woah... Hey, what's going on?" Steven asked, bringing both his hands to her face to wipe away her tears with her thumb. 

"Emotional floodgates, Steven... I kept everything bottled up and..." she began to sob quietly, each shaky breath causing pain to shoot through her. "My father is dead..."

Hyde walked her back over to the couch, allowing her to sit down and lean into him. It felt good having her so close again. 

"And you and that blonde woman from earlier this week... that hurt, too."

He nodded slightly and wrapped his arm around her gently. He figured she was the hot brunette at the door when he found the key on the table the next morning. She pushed herself up against him further, pursing her lips. 

"You know, Fez and I never would've worked out... probably because I'm still in love with you. I was just too pissed at you to see it. Not the best timing, I know... and I don't want you to get too freaked out about it, but you feel something too, right?"

A smile came to his face.

"Yeah."

She pushed herself up and turned to look at him seriously, tears still falling from her eyes. She couldn't stop crying.

"Do you want to start over?"

"That'd be cool..."

Her serious expression intensified. 

"Then you have to stop this eye-for-an-eye mentality... Especially because it feels more like eye-for-an-arm than anything."

His smile faded.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

She immediately frowned and stood up. 

"Steven, if you're not going to talk to me about this then we can't be together. Things can't be the same as last time. I still want to get married and have a future with you, but that can't happen if we can't communicate like adults. We don't have to get serious right away. I just want to know that you see me the same way I see you. If you don't understand that then I think you need to leave."

"Jackie, I get the whole marriage thing and I'll try and be open to it, but you lost me on the eye-for-an-eye part."

She studied his expression, sitting down with a look of disbelief on her face soon after she finished. 

"You really don't see it, do you?"

"See what?"

She pursed her lips and sighed, taking his hand. 

"You thought that I cheated on you with Michael and the first thing you did was go after that nurse to return the favor," she paused, noticing how tense he was but continuing anyways, "and then... in Chicago when you were going to propose, you find Kelso and me together in my hotel room. The next thing you do is go and marry someone else."

She took in another breath as he sat in silence, holding her hand tightly so she couldn't pull away. He didn't want her to leave again... or more accurately, he didn't want to chase her away.

"So... it's either you did those things to hurt me because I hurt you... or the nurse is a coincidence and you don't have issues with marriage. You just have issues with being married to me."

That seemed to get to him.

"What? No. Both of those things were mistakes... and I was really drunk in Vegas."

Jackie was still crying. It seemed like she was always crying because of him and he hated it. There was a time that he was the one she went to when she was upset, not the one making her feel that way.

"Steven... you don't make mistakes. Everything you do has a reason behind it. You came up here to see me because you feel the same way I do. You went to Chicago because you missed me as much as I missed you. You cheated on me because you wanted me to feel the way you did. Please... Please tell me that I'm right," she begged, her voice breaking as she held his hand.

For some reason, he found himself nodding. It was like his body knew the answer before his mind did. Was it true? He knew he was angry at her. He knew he'd wanted to hurt her, but he didn't think that was the motive behind the nurse and trying to marry Sam. He hooked up with the nurse because he felt like it. He got hammered and married Sam because _he felt like it_. Right? 

Apparently not. Everything she was saying just kind of clicked. It didn't feel like an excuse or a bailout. Both options were awful... and Jackie knew him better than he knew himself. 

She released a shaky, teary breath, making her wince once again. She managed to ignore it as she gently pulled his face toward her by the cheek and placing another long, warm kiss on his lips. She kept crying, of course. Everything she'd kept hidden from the world surfaced as they reconciled. All of the pain she felt being away from him finally came into the light as she accepted how much she truly loved him... and that she never stopped. 

* * *

Jackie leaned on Hyde's shoulder on the plane, sleeping quietly as she held his hand. They spent one day in Canada together, simply staying inside and enjoying each other's company. Sometimes they would go for long stretches of peaceful silence, other times Jackie would insist they talk about what was happening. In the end, they decided to take a breath and relax. Their relationship didn't have a label, but Hyde already knew this time it was going to last. 

The morning he'd arrived in Vancouver, Pam picked him up from the airport. Usually, he would've looked her over but he was too concerned about Jackie. She'd been left alone in the large house, barely conscious of her decisions. The drive had been awkward and quiet as he sat in the passenger's seat. Pam didn't seem to be too fond of him. 

When they reached her home, the first thing she did was sit down at the dining table and gesture to the seat across from hers. As he sat down, her expression was flat and her hands had folded themselves. She didn't feel like Pam Burkhart, hot neighborhood mom. She felt like an actual authority figure. 

"Stewart," she began. 

"It's... actually, Steven, Mrs. Burkhart."

She glanced at him, not seeming to care. 

"Sebastian, you care about my daughter, don't you? The first thing you did when you saw me was introduce yourself as her boyfriend."

He shrugged, making her frown. 

"Okay, Simon. I may not be the best mother... or even a good mother, but even I pay attention when my daughter calls me in the middle of the night while crying her little her little heart out because of her ex-boyfriend. That would be you, Stanely."

Hyde shifted in his seat, feeling slightly uncomfortable. 

"I know all about your exploits. The stripper, the nurse..." she paused again, watching him carefully. "I also know that my daughter recently forgave you for those mistakes. She's young and her heart is big. In her eyes, everyone is redeemable. I'm better at discerning the good from the bad than she is."

"And me?"

"Jury's still out. I've heard about your fights and arguments, but I've also heard about everything good you've done for her. I liked you together."

He nodded, slouching down in his seat slightly. 

"Now, listen here, Rodney-"

"Rodney? That's not even close. It's Steven, Mrs. Burkhart."

Her expression soured. 

"I know your name very well, dear. I learned it after Jackie told me how much she loved you. For a long time after your little Chicago episode, I couldn't say your name without her threatening to burst into tears. Now, I'm just so upset and disgusted with the side of you that chooses over and over to hurt my daughter that I can't bear to say it. It's up to you to change my mind"

His heart squeezed at her words. Apparently, he'd done a lot more damage to Jackie than he'd thought. 

"As I said: listen to me very closely. I know why you're here. If you aren't sure you can keep yourself from hurting my girl again, then you need to get the hell out of my house. I may not always show it, but I love the child sleeping upstairs more than life itself and I would rather have my life end right here and now than see her so broken again. Do you understand me?" 

He remained quiet and unresponsive. Pamela Burkhart was always so calm and indifferent when it came to her daughter, but here she was as a terrifying mother bear ready to rip his head off. When he met her as Jackie's boyfriend for the first time, she couldn't care less.

"Do you understand me?" she repeated. He nodded, making her smile return. She let loose a sigh and shook out all of the tension in her body. "Wonderful! Now, if you're serious about my little honeybun, take this. If it's gone by the time I get back from my showing, then you have my blessing to see my daughter again."

Honeybun? Jackie clearly inherited Pam's affinity for nicknames. Hyde watched as she took out a small ring box and opened it, revealing a large diamond engagement ring. The rock in the center was huge, accompanied by a pink diamond on each side. The ring itself wasn't too flashy or tacky. Somehow, it was classy without being too startling or generic. Just Jackie's style.

"It was her grandmothers—Jack's mother. I'm sure you've heard her talk about it."

"Yeah... nonstop. This is the ring she wouldn't shut up about?" Hyde asked, looking at Pam in surprise. 

"Yes. I suppose that little foreign boy didn't hear about it. He didn't ask me for it when he called to ask for my blessing. Seems like you still have a chance," she explained with a smile.

"Mrs. Burkhart... this is nice, and all, but I don't want to get married."

"I'm not asking you to yet. If you take this ring, then you're telling me that you want to be with her and I can trust you to keep her safe and happy. You don't have to give it to her, but you should have it if you plan on staying with her. My daughter is very stubborn about marriage. It's the one dream of hers that hasn't changed over the past fourteen years."

Hyde nodded and closed the box, sliding it toward him and placing it in his jacket pocket. 

"That was quick," Pam said quietly, a smile still on her face. 

"'Cause I already know what I want. I've just gotta wait a little," he replied. Looking back, it wouldn't have killed her to inform him that Jackie and Fez had broken up... though it was a little strange for Pam to be pushing Jackie and him together otherwise.

As Pam put on her blazer Hyde looked up at her. 

"Mrs. Burkhart? Why do you care so much about her now? I know she was really pissed at you for ditching her."

"I know that, too. I panicked and got away as fast as I could. It didn't occur to me that Jackie would suffer... and when it did, I couldn't be bothered. I'm trying to make amends for that now by being the mother she's always wanted me to be," she explained, touching her makeup up in the mirror before turning back to Hyde. "And I've always cared. Who do you think told Jack to cut her off when she got back with that Michael boy? He never would've thought of that on his own. He barely recognized Michael as her boyfriend."

He nodded at her as she left, going to whatever house showing she'd been talking about. He sat at the kitchen table for a minute, placing his hand into his jacket pocket and turning the ring box in his hand. The two years of having Jackie as his girlfriend were easily the best of his life. Getting married seemed like the logical step after being together for so long. Maybe if he'd just agreed, none of this mess would've happened. 

He shook that thought off. 

If he'd agreed back then he would've ended up resenting her for it. He'd ask her one day. He wasn't sure when, but it would happen. He knew she'd be impatient, but she'd just have to learn to wait. Kitty kept going on about relationships being about give and take. When the day came that they were back together, she'd have to give him time.

Jackie stirred next to him, further turning to be away from her injured side and closer to him, not letting go of his hand. Hyde looked down and smiled. He was tired, too. He hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. He stayed up to watch her... make sure she was okay. 

The ring box was sitting in his duffel in the compartment above them. Underneath it was the Led Zeplin tee. It made him smile when he found it, folded neatly on top of one of the cardboard boxes in her closet. 

Hyde rested his head on top of hers lightly, allowing himself to relax. Even in one of the most uncomfortable seats he'd ever sat in, being with her made it easy to fall asleep. That was part of the weird effect she always had on him. Strangely, he'd stopped minding it a while back. 

Guess that's what happens when you love someone.

* * *

**The End.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone. Thank you for reading this story! I hope you liked it. The comments I've gotten have really made me happy and it's so nice to hear people's thoughts. I'll probably write another Jackie and Hyde story because they're a really great pair that wasn't done justice. 
> 
> Again, thank you!


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